Hot Alpha Female writes…
Some say its love. Some say because it’s meant to be. But you want to know the real reason why you’re running back into the arms of your ex?
Because you’re weak. Because you’re needy. Because you have not yet remembered the enjoyment of your own company.
I know it’s harsh but the only reason why I know this place so well, is because I have been there. But I’ve learned my lessons and that’s why I refuse to go back to that place ever again and that’s why I want to give you girls the strength to do it too!
Break-ups SUCK! There is no doubt about it. I’m not here to preach that they are a wonderful and necessary experience of life – well not in this paragraph anyway… But hey I’ve been there and its hurts.
It hurts to lose something that you once had.
It hurts to know that you were once ‘we’ and now it’s just ‘you and me’.
It hurts thinking about things that you guys use to do together.
It hurts to know that someone else will make them happy.
It hurts to know that you will be replaced.
That’s why you need to be the strongest you will ever have to be when you break up. That’s why you have to learn to love yourself again. That’s why you have to learn to appreciate and spend time giving to yourself more than giving to someone else.
Let’s look at the facts. Humans get easily addicted to things. It’s just the way it is, and this is especially evident when it comes to people. Let me ask you guys a question: How many times have you been in a relationship where you felt you had to see the person all the time in order to feel happy?
Come-on now guys. Don’t be shy. You know what I’m referring to. It’s that state where you feel like nothing has meaning unless you are with your guy. You make it HIS job to make you feel happy and to give you meaning. You can’t stand not being with him. The thought of not having him there just kind of makes you itchy. Lol! You feel like every little interesting thing that happens to you .. you have to text or call him to tell him about it.
Soon you find yourself becoming a female version of your partner. You dress the same, you act the same and you think the same. You start to cancel all of your other social plans, just so that you can spend more time with him. He is the number one priority on your list and everything else comes second to that. While that’s very romantic *cough* – this does not lead to a happy relationship. In fact it’s probably one of the many reasons why he broke up with you in the first place.
No-one wants to date a doormat. And no one wants to date a replica of themselves. Let me pose this question to you: Do you think that this guy started dating you for a reason? Do you think that he started dating you because he liked YOUR personality?
I think sometimes we get so caught up in relationships we really do forget who we are. We become so addicted to the person that they are our drug and we NEED to be around them to feel happy.
Well girls, I’m sorry, but that is not what a relationship is about. Relationships aren’t about needing. They ARE about giving and reviewing.
A lot of you are dealing with break-ups, emotionally retarded man-boys and so on. But here’s the thing: Its time to get off the drugs. And if you want to be addicted to anything, then its time to start getting addicted to creating meaning in your own life. It’s time to get addicted to giving to yourself first and foremost. It’s time to get addicted to establishing healthy relationships patterns.
It’s time to find the strength inside yourself, that you have always had and never realized.
It’s time to stop settling for less than you deserve.
It’s time to raise your own expectations of yourself and out of life.
It’s time that you really begin to see what you can really do and who you can really be â€¦
With that I want to leave you guys a little video which touched my heart and inspired me beyond measure.
Hot Alpha Female is a new weekly contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a vibrant twenty-something that loves talking about dating and relationships, as well as skiing and laughing uncontrollably.