The Hidden Link Between People Pleasing and Feeling Unworthy in Love

When you don’t feel worthy of a healthy, available relationship, it’s not unusual to find yourself in unavailable and shady relationships. Believing on some level that you’re not good enough causes emotional unavailability (on your end), so you’re inadvertently drawn...

Low Expectations and Accepting the Bare Minimum in Relationships Fuels Self-Rejection

When you’ve been hurt and don’t feel safe in trusting others, it’s easy to rationalise that being in a bare-minimum relationship is the safe option. It’s like, How can I go wrong when I’m going out of my way to have low expectations? We figure...

Healthy Boundaries Are as Much for You as They Are for Everyone Else

One of the mistakes many make in trying to have boundaries is seeing them solely as a means of guiding and directing or even ruling others. Boundaries are for us first and foremost. Others know our line when we know it. If someone isn’t being boundaried, continuing to...

Power or Partnership? Loving Relationships Have Co-Pilots

A factor that distinguishes loving relationships from unhealthy ones is power, not just our sense of personal power but also whether there is concern over who holds power over the other. Relationships reliant on one person being in power and the other having a...

Giving Love Requires the Emotional Generosity of Empathy and Compassion

Loving somebody takes knowledge and understanding. As a result, we experience love when we practise vulnerability, compassion and empathy, so to love is giving. We actively choose not to let fear dominate. Love, the feeling and verb, takes investment. We have to be...