The Self-Blame Habit

As children, when something ‘bad’ happened, we looked around for a reason that ‘made sense’ to explain our feelings, the whys and hows, etc. We did this to work out what we needed to be and do in the future to avoid experiencing that negative outcome again. Kids see...

The Powerful Untruths of Our Negative Beliefs Block Loving Relationships

When something happened in your childhood that you didn’t like the look or feel of, you searched for reasons to explain it. Often, this meant making yourself the focal point of that reason, even though it might not have had anything to do with you. You reached...

Love Isn’t a Reward for Being a Good Person, and We Don’t Like This

There’s this really pervasive belief that everything that does or doesn’t happen in our life comes down to worthiness and effort. It’s why when we don’t get what we need, want or expect, we default to the reasoning habit of blaming it on not being ‘good enough’. On...

Podcast Ep 207: Let’s Be More Truthful About Loneliness

This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions is on a subject very close to my heart, loneliness. The last couple of months of the year are notoriously difficult for some who are feeling low, but also, some of our habits are triggers for loneliness. In...
The Belief That You’re Not “Good Enough” Is a Reasoning Habit

The Belief That You’re Not “Good Enough” Is a Reasoning Habit

For some of us, feeling not “good enough” is as familiar as breathing. Feeling inadequate and worthless from a very young age is why I’m a recovering people pleaser, perfectionist and overthinker. Believing it drove me into painful relationships forcing myself...