Gambler’s Fallacy and Romantic Relationships

There’s something called Gambler’s Fallacy. It’s where we think that if we’ve experienced, for example, a lot of something, that the odds of that happening in future is much lower. And vice versa. It’s connected to the misconception that...

The self-abandonment of compartmentalising other people’s shady behaviour isn’t worth it

Sometimes we compartmentalise a person’s behaviour and focus on our feelings or the picture we’ve painted in our mind. The back and forth with our ex continues even though they still insist that they don’t want us or a relationship. We claim that we...

Podcast Ep. 211: Too good to be true?

Something that makes us nervous is when someone appears to be a little (or a lot) too perfect. Things are so great, so impressive, so much of what we want or hope to get that we find it difficult to believe. Even if there aren’t what seem like obvious reasons...
These “good qualities” you cling to, why aren’t you benefiting from them?

These “good qualities” you cling to, why aren’t you benefiting from them?

One of the challenges that life presents for some of us is knowing where and with whom to invest our good qualities. When we’re driven by being a ‘good person’ and avoiding people’s judgement and criticism, it makes us afraid of putting...

Needs and wants are not about being worthy and deserving

Central to the story of every struggle that someone has shared with me is the underlying notion that if only they were more worthy and deserving, they would have got what they needed and wanted, or they could be who they truly are. Believing that we are sufficiently...