This morning I checked the Femail website to see if an article that was being written about women who use the internet to write about their exes and relationships had been published. I was shocked when I read the this:
“Don’t get mad, get E-VENGE!”
In the Daily Mail newspaper, it even adds
“It’s the new mantra for women using the internet to take revenge on cheating men!”
I was shocked to read this headline and what unfolds is a total misrepresentation of me with a lot of inaccuracies and is particularly alarming because I said that I didn’t want to be part of some ‘revenge’ feature’.
I took part in the feature to highlight how my experience and sharing my insights about dating and relationships, and specifically emotionally unavailable men has helped thousands of women, and instead, I’ve been summed up as a woman who is getting revenge on her cheating ex fiance! It was an opportunity to promote my site and ebook which I was promised and they failed to do!
Let me ask you something – Did any of you even know that I had my ex fiance that cheated!? For someone who is supposed to be taking revenge, I didn’t do a very good job of it, but I’ll let you draw your own conclusions!
Over at Dollymix, you can read the lowdown on what really happened and I hope that you will all agree that this blog is about empowering you, not taking out revenge! You can also read the article over at Femail – I’ll let you draw your own conclusion!
Note that they don’t seem to be publishing comments – I’ve had a few people email me to say that they’ve commented but they seem to be holding them back…
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nml I’ve been reading your blogs for years and you have helped thousands of women so I don’t get how this has become ‘e-venge’! The article on Femail has you lined up with vengeful women which puts you out of context! Pay no attention. Your readers know the real truth and no body but crazy right wingers that hate everything and everyone reads that piece of crap anyway.
NML – I haven’t even read it yet & I am outraged! You have reached out to thousands of us & asked nothing in return. Then you go to them to share your experience & they take total advantage of you & then don’t even promote your ebook as promised? That is so wrong but as we all know there are many bafoons in this world! Cheating ex fiance? Many of us have lived on this site & I have never read a thing. They are lousy liars! Keep doing what you are doing! Can we start some type of petition against that site for their FRAUDELENT information? You would have MANY supporters! I believe in freedom of speech when you have the “correct” info but this is not the case!
That article doesn’t even make sense! I understand why they included the other two women but why you? If anything they should have used you to highlight how there is a positive way to handle your relationship pain.
Personally I can’t thank you enough for what you have done with your blogs and your ebook. You have SAVED me from continuing to humiliate myself further with a eum. You taught me about accountability. I don’t think you have any idea what you are doing for thousands of women and I hope that the Daily Mail doesn’t scare you away. We need you!
What was that – a gossip column, an editorial, or a private, unedited, unreviewed, trite and shallow blog post?
http://www.itsaboutmakingbabies.com/2008/05/07/e-venge-or-e-agenda/
I read your blog Bambino Goodies and saw you in the paper today and I struggled to associate you with this revenge, bunny boiler thing they have going on. Then I read your version of events at Dollymix after seeing your post here and I think it’s incredible what papers like the Daily Mail will stoop to for a story! How upsetting! Let it wash over you!
WTF???? I’m sorry, NML, but you’re teaching us to recognise red flag behaviour, SEE IT IN OURSELVES, and take responsibility for our lives and our relationships.
If that girl needs a cheap thrill, let her shag one of our EUMs, rather than take it out on the sisterhood. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.
Ixx
NML
They are pathetic and you are way better than them so jsut IGNORE THEM.
I am writing from Asia where I get no help at all for understanding abusive male behaviour and instead have been told its a guy thang and the norm. What is wrong about reaching out and teaching women all over the world to stand up for their rights and wanting better in life. I know you have taught me that and I have recommended your blog to various female friends too and will keep on too.
I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion but to do that without finding out what is really going on here, well that is just another thing.
Just like are EUMs some people can’t change – LOL
I echo the other commenters. I just don’t understand why you are being accused of “e-venge”. Why don’t they have more positive portrayals of women? Why are you being treated in this way when if anything they should be celebrating what you have done. You HELP people! You don’t do “cyberbitching”. Always remember that papers like a story……..even when there isn’t one. They prefer to make it juicy rather than tell the truth which would have made a far more interesting story! NML you rock! Forget these ass clowns!
This is ludicrous. Really, I cannot believe that:
a) they mislead you
b) they basically took everything out of context
c) they have no real clue what it is that is discussed here
We all, ALL, use examples of real life experience in order to get our point across on our blogs.
How else would anyone relate?
This isn’t Dear Abby. This is an engaged conversation amongst women (save Brad and Lance…lol) that have all gone through many shared experiences. We are helping each other vent, heal, repair, but most importantly move on.
Wow. I am floored.
I hope they don’t read my blog…lol!!
I will back you to the teeth lady…always!
xo
Oh, and one more thing. You know the saying ‘any publicity is good publicity’ well it applies. And quite possibly some women who do need help, etc., will see that, come here, and you may get the chance to help just one more person out of all this mess.
Karma, right?
This is what newspapers do. They don’t understand blogging and the Daily Mail despite having a female readership seem very focused on taking women down a peg or two. On top of that the Daily Mail don’t have a good track record with black people in their paper and the best thing you can do is steer clear. Your readers and those who know you know the truth. If anyone should ever look up your blog they will realise that their claims are lies.
I posted a comment there yesterday about how your blog tried to get us to take responsibility? It was ‘reviewed’ and never made it up there – probably because the Daily Mail is incapable of coping with disagreement – and the truth.
NML, unbelievable, but that is the press. I don’t care what they say, you are a great lady, you taught me so much in a few month what I was not able to see in years. I will always be very grateful for this. Please keep up your great work, we need you.
NML
I gotta agree with Astelle here. I am finally healing happier thanks to these ladies here and most importantly YOU. You have helped us (me) through the toughest time of my life and all without asking for anything in return and I don’t care what the press or the rest of the world says. You are one hell of a lady and I will always be grateful.
God Bless
It’s pure crap! I’m outraged! I can’t even begin to tell you the impact your blog and book have had on my life and that of my friend. To suggest that you’re out for revenge is completely ridiculous. Any amount of research at all would have completely contradicted the crap they published. Good luck in your fight NML! We love and appreciate you!
She’s got form:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2005/sep/07/pressandpublishing1
Hello Ladies! Thanks for all of your fab words of support.
Are You Serious! – Yes, I really am serious! Thanks for your kind words – It’s a female orientated paper so even though it has some rignt wingers, they’ve sent out the wrong message to the very people I speak with.
Kim – These people just weren’t interested in the facts. I was engaged for 15 months, and a year after we broke up, I found out that he’d started something new…before he got rid of the old… I was upset for about a day, but I did not start a blog to get revenge and to state that I did so and to also say that I continued sharing my revenge with the world, is ludicrous. The incident was so irrelevant that I actually forgot about it till recently!
Terry – I am only too happy to help and I won’t be scared away. Thank you!
Sara – Thanks for taking the time to come over and share your support. I shall do my best to let the mud wash over me 😉
Izzy – I love that saying! Thank you for making me laugh out loud and thanks for your support!
Sindh – You represent a classic reason of why I enjoy writing so much because this is what it is all about – helping people and sharing experiences. I’ve better things to do with my time than take out revenge!
Mel1965 – Thank you! Well they have certainly added plenty of juice – I hope she’s really enjoying herself!
Cheekie – Thanks for your comments and your posts. I like your way of thinking and although I would rather not have this publicity, I’d certainly like to help more women.
Izzy – Thank you! Don’t worry – no comments have made it there since Wednesday lunchtime…
Marianne – That is all very true and I have learnt my lesson now. I’m glad that anyone who looks me up will find out the truth, I’m just concerned about the ones who won’t. In fact, I just want it removed because I don’t want it associated with my name.
Astelle – Thank you – I am beaming a big smile. I won’t be going anywhere.
Sindh – Ah jeez, you’re gonna make a grown woman cry in a minute 🙂 Thank you!
Lisa Q – Thanks for such lovely words of support. I love you guys too!
Genette – Now this was a *great* tip off! Thank you.
It takes strength to admit you made a mistake, but it takes GREAT courage, sensibility and understanding to turn that mistake, into the knowledge to help yourself and others to overcome the pain from a bad relationship.
In a very unselfish way, Natalie share her experiences with us and helped us realized that a lot of women went through the same thing. I guess you have to be in the same circumstances to understand that this is NOT ABOUT REVENGE. THIS IS ABOUT UNDESTANDING what went wrong in order to move on, and the support only someone who lived that same situation can understand.
The article on Femail is unfair and it undermines NML’s efforts to help other women. Men are known for covering each other backs. Why is so hard to believe women can do the same thing? This article completely underestimate women’s capacity to nurture and support fellow sisters.
I love this site. I know by the way that this isn’t that recent an article… But I still wanted to share how useful and helpful this site has been for me…
To me this site is about empowerment. It’s realizing that we [us women who have been both attracted to and dated or flirted or whatever with EUMs] have the choice to make the pain stop now. And I see no hint at seeking revenge on this site – on the contrary, unless of course “moving on” is supposed to be revenge. In which case I’d say revenge is good!
This site has made me question myself in a way that I realized that I should no longer hope to be rescued/put all my hopes in a relationship/etc. Instead, I should make my life rich and full for myself and myself only. And expect what I seek from the outside world from myself. And that I needed to be in that place and time (internally) where I would feel strong and whole by myself first. And to me it has become an enriching journey.
You know, often people undermine the efforts of others (or what others share) because they feel rejected by these… Or judged. Basically they’re acting based on their own perceptions of themselves… Maybe that played into that criticism?