Define Your Goals
We all need a purpose and we all need direction. Establishing what you want in the short, medium and long term not only gives you something to aspire to but also let’s you know if you’re living the life that enables you to have a cats hope in hell of achieving any of these things.
The key with writing the list is not about putting just the big things that you want but also the small things. It’s like your life to do list! When you look at the list, not only will you realise that there is plenty to fill up your life with, but you can establish whether you have unrealistic or too low expectations. I wrote a list two years ago and it was the kick up the backside that I needed. You may find that you refer to the list often, or that once you have written it that it’s enough to clear your head and galvanise you into action.
If there are things on the list that you can tackle straight away, do it, as you will feel a sense of achievement that will spur you on. Don’t try to do everything all at once and make sure you have clearly defined what falls into ‘short term’ (within the next 6 months), ‘medium term’ (6 months to three years), and ‘long term’ (3 years plus). You can adjust the time periods to suit but make sure that you have a timeline.
Get To Know You
What are your values, where do you want to go, what do you want to be, what motivates you, are you happy, and do you have any unresolved issues? If you don’t know you, it’s very easy to sideline yourself and your needs when someone else enters the picture. Knowing yourself and what is truly important to you will ensure that when you do meet someone or have a relationship that you’re with people that meet your core needs and values. Not knowing yourself leaves you open to anyone coming along and high-jacking your spirit.
If you do have unresolved issues, understand what drives them and find peace with yourself and with anyone else involved with that issue so that you can forgive and move on. Understanding what is behind destructive behaviour and issues is half the battle – Once you know what it is and acknowledge it, you have the opportunity to make changes and live a better life. It’s better to have a positive energy for yourself rather than negative energy that weighs you down. If you can’t find closure on your own or need help establishing the root of your unhappiness, see a counsellor or therapist. Look out for upcoming articles on defining and resolving issues so that you can move on.
Do What You Enjoy and Do What You Want
You should be able to do this regardless of your relationship status. Many people for instance treat being single as the tedious time that they pass between relationships, rather than a fabulous ‘Me Time’ opportunity. Whatever your relationship status, never make the responsibility of your happiness or the ability to do what you want to do, somebody else’s. Don’t believe that life will become enjoyable when you meet someone else. Get on with enjoying your life now!