Brad K has a thoughtful but still rather entertaining take on reinstating a chaperone for dates…
A duenna, according to my Funk & Wagnalls (dictionary, that is), is a lady who watches over a family’s daughter; a chaperone to a young lady.
What better way to avoid drama, than to bring a reliable coach and chaperone when you date?
Ok, stop laughing. Think about this. Take someone with you who has a vested interest in preserving your virtue. You can avoid unwanted or unseemly sexual or social compromises. But especially, you have someone to watch you and especially to observer and evaluate him.
Cuddling and sneaking gropes are all good and well. But a wandering foot in your lap doesnÃt mean he will be kind or control his temper. Instead of rebelling with intimacy, you force the conversation and social activity to remain at a polite level. Even as you wallow in the delights of his eyes, his manner, his regard, you are assured that someone will note any danger signals. And before you have to kick him out of bed, you get to figure out if he is a worthwhile risk.
I give it three dates. Minimum. You might consider continuing right up until you marry, or move in together. Maybe use a couple different duennas, just to have a good, balanced evaluation, a comparison of his non-bed virtues. He might treat the chaperone/duenna thing as a joke, or he might appreciate the chance to get to meet you without turning off brains to grope bodies. If he isn’t interested unless he has you halfway stripped and groped Ã± well, you learned how much to trust his, Ã¬Well, sure, I will respect you in the morning. Wink, wink.Ã®
Pick a married woman, someone at least 10 years older than you. And never agree to evade her scrutiny while on a date Ã± she is there for your protection, use her.
Flush out the any disrespect, any lack of discipline or emotional control, so the only casualty is his feelings and not your heart.
Duenna. Give your mother a laugh.