Today on day 12 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Hot Alpha Female is delivering an empowering wake up call and action plan for saying bye-bye to baggage….
So you’ve decided that its time to clear the baggage. Now you want to know how. You’ve found the problem and now you want the solution. You’ve figure out what has been holding you back and now you’re prepared to finally face your fears.
For those of you that have the courage.. then it’s time to dive in and start building a whole new mindset about yourself, dating, relationships and life.
But only for those that are prepared and only for those that are prepared to start dating drama free. You need to want a fresh new start without looking back …
Let’s get to it shall we?
Good reflection gets you closer to perfection
SO what am I talking about here? Well let me delve into this a little deeper. In order to move forward in your dating life and grow as a person, you need to realize that everything that you have experienced so far has not been given to you as a punishment, but is given to you so that you can grow from it and learn the right lessons. Here is the thing. Life keeps giving you the same lessons over and over again, until you learn what you are suppose to learn.
Its time to start looking at all those bad experiences you have had in the past .. and be able to really reflect on that and see what you were truly meant to learn.
If you are able to look at your life as a play, in which all the scenes and actors and cast were scripted then you can finally accept and realize that everything was suppose to happen as it did.
That guy that mistreated you .. cheated on you .. whatever .. was there for a reason so that you could learn to really respect and stand up for yourself. Everything that has happened to you in the past, happened for a reason. So stop hating it .. and start thanking life for giving you these beautiful life lessons.
Drama Free Action Plan: Reflect back on all your past experiences and write down all the positive things that you learned about yourself and relationships because of that experience. Be thankful for these learnings.
What we say to ourselves and what we speak out loud is so important in the construction of our own reality. Don’t you find it funny, how the person who is always talking about being sick is always sick?! Or the girl who is always complaining about her dating life is always complaining?! So here is the thing. Its time to start speaking out things that you want to appear in your life. And its time to come up with some new and empowering beliefs.
Do you ever hear yourself saying. “There are no good single guys out there”, “Relationships are boring”, “I don’t want to get hurt again”, “I don’t want to lose my freedom” … the list goes on and on.
But here is the thing. We have no idea how powerful these sayings are in shaping our reality. If we believe that there really are no good guys out there or that nobody would want to date us .. then guess what?? that’s all that you will feel and see!
Your beliefs are shaping your reality. Its as simple as that!
Drama Free Action Plan: So what do I want you guys to do? I want you to sit down and start making some positive affirmations that you say to yourself instead of all the dis-empowering and useless ones you have been telling yourself over and over again. Here is a couple of examples
“Everyday in every way I find more reasons to love myself”, “I trust that everything happens for a reason”, “There are single dateable guys everywhere!” … you guys come up with something that suits you and that resonates with you.
Gotta get out to fight the drought
So now that you have changed your beliefs it’s time to act on them. Its time to practice practice practice! What does this mean? It means get out there, give people a chance and date date date.
Some of you may be thinking … I don’t want to date before I’m fully fixed. But here is the thing. Actively dating, is actually quite an enjoyable experience. Most of the time you end up having a lot of fun!
For the chickadees its great because it gets your feminine energy to come out more and it’s that feminine energy that makes you very attractive to the opposite sex.
The other good thing about getting back into dating is that you can finally put some of those old limiting beliefs to rest. You can stop thinking of all those stories that you have made up and told yourself that really didn’t serve you.
You can start learning all the wonderful things about being back in the dating game and the wonderful benefits of being in a relationship.
Drama Free Action Plan: Its time to get a new outfit, grab some heels, put on a smile and get out there! Start to love the skin your in, walk with your head held high. Go out on dates and give guys a chance. Don’t be too quick to judge. Enjoy yourself. Have fun.
And in no time at all you will be wondering where all that baggage went!
To Baggage Free Dating!
Good luck girls
Your thoughts?
Hot Alpha Female is a new weekly contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a vibrant twenty-something that loves talking about dating and relationships, as well as skiing and laughing uncontrollably.
Do you have a post or tip to submit for the series? Get in touch! Read other posts from the series.
If you’re a habitual dater of emotionally unavailable men, don’t forget that Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl is now available to buy and download.
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Alpha, great timing for this article! I am getting ready to take the plunge and start dating again after a grueling and painful 3 years of riding the EUM rollercoaster. Through this website, and through counseling, I finally feel like I am ready, and although I know I’m not completely “fixed” per se, I feel like I have enough knowledge, experience, and lessons learned to forge ahead in the dating game. I have prepared my list (from NML’s book Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl) of what I want in a relationship, and more importantly, what I don’t want in a relationship, and hopefully, I will be much more tuned in to possible EUM red flags! Not to sound like psycho-babble, but I think I am FINALLY learning to love myself, and if I could quote a country song (ewww! sorry…) “I ain’t settling for just getting by– I’ve had enough ‘so, so’ for the rest of my life– tired of shootin’ too low, going to set the bar high– I ain’t settling for anything less than everything.”
Good post HAF…. I am actually buying a cute new dress and heels for a party tomorrow night for that very reason. It’s time to get out there!! I can’t wait for the day when I can see with clarity what the past couple years (and patterns set previous to that) REALLY were.
thanks.