I have been loathe to make any New Year’s Resolutions because quite frankly, I will forget within a matter of days, if not hours, what my good intentions were. The start of the New Year always causes one horrifying moment for me. Without fail, I get into a discussion about the forthcoming year, I end up clapping my hand over my mouth and going, ‘Oh f*ck! I’m 29 this year!’ or whatever the impending age has been in previous years. Within days, my mum gets on the phone and says, ‘Oh feck! I’m 49 this year! Will you be paying to get those stretch marks that you gave me removed this year then?’
Naturally there is plenty of talk about settling down. If it’s not the not so subtle questions from my nosey family, then it’s single friends proclaiming that this is the year when they want to get a man/get married/have a baby and some even want all in one go. The frightening thing is that every year, quite a few women I know make a lot of the same noises and the following year rings in with very little change. Is life zooming by or have we become complacent about our love lives?
We’re not supposed to be beating down doors looking for love as I do believe that the harder we look, the harder it is to meet someone, however, you have to be in it to win it. If you don’t put yourself out there, which means forsaking a night in with the TV and some ice-cream, you don’t give yourself the best possible opportunity to meet more people.
I’m not suggesting that you be the welcome wagon for every guy in town, but make an effort to go out to places where you can meet new people. You just never know who is out there and smile for God’s sake, it won’t kill you!
As for the people who already have someone, there is a harsh reality that has to be confronted if you have become immobilised by the inactivity in the status of your relationship. If you’re looking to be in a more committed relationship, which can mean buying a home together, having a baby, getting married, you don’t get these things from a guy who is unwilling to play ball or even meet you half way. I’m not suggesting that you run upstairs and start chucking all of his stuff into a suitcase, but if you want your life to change, you may have to cut the fat in some areas. I.e. Your significant other. Have some serious conversations where you both get to lay your cards on the table, establish whether your expectations are realistic, and make the decision that is best for you.
The key to 2006, I reckon, is putting yourself first and foremost. This doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you equipped to take care of and nurture those around you, because you’ve taken care of No. 1. I’m a bit of a list person (I forget to look at them once they’re written) but take a sheet of paper and list every little thing that you would like to. Think short, medium and long term. Now even if you don’t look at this sheet for ages or ever again, it is fabulous for giving you clarity and giving you the opportunity to mobilise yourself.
Life isn’t zooming by too quickly, we just need to grab it by the nuts!