love heart with chains around itOn Day 17 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie makes a clear distinction between passion and Drama with a capital D…

Mmmm passion – who doesn’t love, crave, indeed live for it?

That handsome, rakish man who is going to sweep us off our wee toes and make love to us in the rain and then never call? Wait a sec that’s not right!

Wakey wakey eggs n bakey!

In our quest for passion, we sometimes confuse drama and passion.

Passion is heated, long term, persistent, pleasurable, and it has integrity.

Drama is panicky, impatient, short term, painful, and damn manipulative

We get into arguments sometimes with people, just to stir the pot.

We sometimes get ourselves involved in the most ridiculous situations.

Just to ‘feel’ something. This is drama. This is manipulaion of others and yourself

Passion is glorious, amazing – anyone who has it or has experienced it knows what I mean. But, although it is dramatic by definition, it isn’t Drama.

Capital D drama

When you have passion, be it for life, a worthy cause, or a relationship/person, it causes you to do GOOD things. It drives you and gives you purpose.

When we are filled with drama and dramatic situations, it is almost always a negative experience. It causes us to lose focus and veer off the path of our original intentions

Our original intent was to have someone who loves us, unconditionally love us (using the example of relationships, cause that is why we are all here, right?)

We want that passion to remain, those first amazing days, the butterflies, never being able to get enough of each other – *sigh*.

So in our misguided attempt at holding onto this, holding on to what we want (or think we want – whether or not this person is right for us doesn’t even matter at this Drama Demon point) we do everything in our power to replace and recreate that feeling.

This is where the drama comes in.

Some of us, perhaps a tad inept at holding onto relationships, fall prey to this line of thinking the most often. We are addicted to the feeling. Addicted to the supposed passion these feelings create.

Unfortunately it almost always manifests itself in very destructive ways mainly to ourselves, but to our relationships.

By creating and causing drama in this way, we are manipulating the situation.

Ask any man, what would return that ‘passion’ to their relationship, do you think they would say

“Oh if she would just call me and yell at me and freak out more often for no reason, ya, that would be hot”

See where I am going with this?

We want to feel. Intensely. We just want some feeling, but we are relying on the other person to give it to us. We cajole, anger, frustrate in order to get this. It is definitely a recipe for disaster, and only leaves us feeling the glut after.

It is a vicious cycle, and only you can stop it.

Passion in a relationship is something that everyone attains to, everyone in a long-term relationship knows that sometimes you crave those early days. But you look at the other person and you know that you are lucky, and you wouldn’t change that for anything.

In order to get unconditional love, you have to stop putting conditions on it.

That’s what drama does, it puts conditions, ultimatums and stress onto what could be if you would only let it happen – naturally, in it’s own time – and no amount of drama is going to change that, but it could ruin it.

Your thoughts?

Cheekie is back as a regular contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a 30-ish single cheeky chick, just wandering her way through the dating forest and trying to leave as many bread crumbs as possible….Look out for her posts each week!

Do you have a post or tip to submit for the series? Get in touch!

Catch up on posts in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series.

If you are a Drama Seeker, you should be reading NML’s ebook Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. Find out more and buy and download.

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