Hot Alpha Female writes…
Recently I had to travel to the US, and one particular issue kept coming up.
My travelling buddy, while really sweet and easy going, was slowly driving me insane. I thought I was going to pull my own hair out and wanted to give him a happy pill or something, just so he would be able to talk faster instead of taking 5 minutes to think of a response to anything I said! My main frustration was that this guy could not make a decision for the life of him!! He was travelling with me because he is meant to be that little bit more savvy, but honestly it would have been better travelling with a stuffed toy!
So here is the thing: This guy could not make a decision, said YES to everything that I asked him, and seemed to have no sense of opinion himself, and on top of that was a complete and utter people pleaser! I don’t know about you guys, but isn’t this something that you would find just irritating? Mind you, some of you may be thinking that it would be great to have such an easy going traveling buddy…
But first let me give you a situation. We are at the airport, just got off the plane and have no idea where to go. So as a guy .. you’d think you would look around and do your best to know where you are going or at least in which direction you should go. Now this guy just stood there, umming and arrring for like 5 minutes. In those minutes I’m getting more and more annoyed because this dude can’t make a decision so I just picked a direction and started walking there. He of course followed me. Now here is the thing; I had no idea where I was going! I was just doing my best to use the signs and what not.
We ended up finding where we needed to go, because I was asking all these random people for direction and reading signs. But the whole thing that annoyed me the most was that, he couldn’t even step up and be a man and attempt to take control of the situation.
For me, there is absolutely nothing attractive about his lack of action or control.
He was talking about his girlfriend at home and how much he cares about her. He does all these really sweet and predictable things for her … and in the back of my mind I was hoping and praying that she doesn’t get bored and dump him. I really hope that I’m wrong, but rarely does a woman want to stay with a guy that is so easy to control and is so predicable.
Which brings me to my second point. I was listening to one of these audio CD’s and the guy said that girls are insecure by nature and are looking for a partner who can keep them safe and protect them. That really made me think, and I believe this is so true.
When a guy is masculine, takes control, and guides and leads us, we feel protected.
When a guy stands up to us and doesn’t take our bitchiness, he proves that he can stand up to YOU and therefore can stand up FOR you.
It all comes back to the point of… ” Do I feel safe around this guy?”, “Does he make me feel protected?”, and “Can I let my guard down and allow him to take care of things?”.
Seriously girls think about this, because I think this plays a really important factor in the type of guys that we date and are attracted to. There is no way that we are going to stay with a guy who can’t stand up to us, who won’t make his own decisions, and who exists for the very approval of others.
On a biological level it demonstrates that this is someone who is weak and is unable to take care of us.
So for the guys out there … please please please just tell us what to do!
Girls what do you think?
Hot Alpha Female is a regular contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a vibrant twenty-something that loves talking about dating and relationships, as well as skiing and laughing uncontrollably.