Assert Yourself for You, Not for Approval or Control

Boundaries are not about gaining agreement and validation. Instead, they’re about showing up and being stakeholders in our lives. If you consider that we are each our boundaries and our boundaries are us, we can’t make our existence about trying to please and prove...

Why We Feel Shaken and Like We Did a Bad Thing After Asserting Ourselves

It’s not uncommon, especially when you’re new to creating healthier boundaries through being more honest about who you are, including expressing limits, saying no, or articulating what you need, want and expect, to feel shaken by your assertiveness. You might...

Podcast Ep. 274: Listen to a Chapter from The Joy of Saying No

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I give listeners an exclusive sneak peek by reading the first chapter from my forthcoming book The Joy of Saying No.  It didn’t make sense to me that I devoted so much time, energy, effort, and emotion to...

We Don’t Need the Perfect Reaction to Our Upset but a Pause Helps

Far too many people pressure themselves to speak on something perfectly and immediately. They want to get fired up and know exactly what to say or do straight away. When they don’t, they beat themselves up afterwards for not having the perfect words or addressing...

Podcast Ep. 220: We’re Allowed To Have Work Boundaries

Over the last several months, I’ve been chatting with a range of people behind the scenes about their relationship with work. Something that became immediately apparent is that most people don’t think that they can have work boundaries. And even if they...