Giving 100 Percent Effort All The Time is a Boundary and Bandwidth Issue

As a recovering perfectionist and people pleaser, I’ve acknowledged that my habits are significantly influenced by believing that anything less than 100% is “bad”. When anything was below, for instance, what my parents or teachers wanted or expected,...

Podcast Ep. 258: It’s Not Our Job to Meet Our Parents’ Expectations

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast, I talk about those annoying and hurtful comments that our parents make about us and our life choices that leave us believing that we are a disappointment. I delve into some of the ways our parents’...

Worrying About Being Overzealous and Going Overboard With Your Boundaries

Often, when we recognise our boundary issues, it’s all-too-easy to start chopping and cutting. We think that distancing ourselves, restricting our circle, maybe calling out the people we believe have taken advantage, is the way to go. But then we tend to second-guess...

Parents Believing They ‘Had It Worse’ Makes Empathy Difficult for Them

My mother wanted me to do “better”. She wanted me to have and make the most of advantages and opportunities. She was also terribly afraid of me, not just failing and so not “succeeding”, but also ending up “like her”. I’m not alone in having a mother who...

They say you’re a ‘couple’, so why doesn’t it feel like that?

In dating, there’s often this intense focus, a goal, of getting the other party to say something that makes it clear that we’re in a relationship. We want to define the relationship so that we can know what to expect. Hell, we want to know that we’ve...