Your Breakup or Relationship Status Doesn’t Reflect Your Worth or Identity

I’ve worked with many clients who feel they’ve failed or are a failure because of a breakup or not being in a relationship yet. This mentality tells me a few things: They see themselves as being 100% responsible for the success of a relationship, so they will go to...

The Blame Trap Only Ends Up Helping Shady People

When we’re in unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships, we often blame others, and then ourselves, for the other person’s behaviour. For instance, we claim that our romantic partner ex(es) ‘obviously’ didn’t love them right or give the right support or sex them...
To Stop Feeling Stuck After a Breakup, You Will Need To Grieve Your Old Identity

To Stop Feeling Stuck After a Breakup, You Will Need To Grieve Your Old Identity

When a significant relationship ends, or even when you step away from a job or career that you thought was ‘it’, you grieve the loss. Even though you may be aware that the relationship/marriage/job/career wasn’t working and all of the reasons why, you can still wind...

Taking Things Personally: What Is It, and How Do We Stop?

Since I started writing Baggage Reclaim, I’ve become increasingly mindful of where I tend to take things personally. These instances always point back at old hurts and narratives that I need to confront in some way. Of course, I’m not alone in taking things...

We don’t need to ‘confess’ our bad relationship experiences to a new partner

When we’ve had what we might term “bad past experiences” and we realise that we’re in the beginnings of a much healthier, loving relationship, it’s not uncommon to feel as if we need to confess to our unavailable and shady relationships....