Why Some People Call You “Needy” Even When It’s the First Time You’re Speaking Up

Few things wound, offend and confuse us, like being called “needy”, particularly when we typically avoid expressing our needs, desires, expectations, feelings and opinions as a rule. It’s like, So let me get this right. I avoid saying no and pulling you up on things...

Here’s why you have no time and are overcommitted, overloaded or overwhelmed

When you’re super busy and have no time, it’s tempting to point to all the people and things that use up your bandwidth (time, energy, effort and emotions). These appear to be the culprit of feeling overcommitted, overloaded, overwhelmed, anxious,...

Why ignore your ‘life data’ when you can utilise it and take care of you?

Thanks to a lifetime of experiences so far, we all have our own personal encyclopedias of what does and doesn’t work for us. But we often don’t utilise this vital intel about our needs, desires, values and boundaries. Instead, even though we know that, for...

Please Don’t Wait Around for People to Do the Right Thing by You

In situations where, to you, the ‘right’ thing seems obvious, it’s easy to assume that it is to the other party too. In fact, when it comes to boundaries, we humans often veer between extremes. We think someone wouldn’t do something if it weren’t...

Worrying About Being Overzealous and Going Overboard With Your Boundaries

Often, when we recognise our boundary issues, it’s all-too-easy to start chopping and cutting. We think that distancing ourselves, restricting our circle, maybe calling out the people we believe have taken advantage, is the way to go. But then we tend to second-guess...