Since the start of this year, I’ve been training for the London Marathon. In order to push myself beyond my own expectations of what I could do (I hadn’t done any long-distance running before), I’ve utilised my own teachings about No Contact, inner critics and perfectionism. A key lesson I’ve learned is: don’t let your inner critic convince you that what you did was a fluke.
When you step out of your comfort zone (the place where your inner critic likes to keep you so that it doesn’t have to be afraid and it can remain in control), your inner critic changes tack. With its contrary ways, it goes from scaring the bejaysus out of you about failure, humiliation, abandonment and other disasters that will befall you, to now acknowledging that you can do [whatever it is]… but claiming it was “luck”.
I started from scratch and felt as if a couple of kilometres was hard work so when the app expected me to run 7k less than three weeks into it, I thought it was crazy. I did it though and ran more than that just a few days later. The experience taught me an invaluable lesson about life and taking big leaps into the deep end when we want to keep prepping and hanging out in the shallow end: Sometimes we need to take big leaps in order to challenge what we don’t even realise is our small mindset.
We need to bust through our limitations so that even if we doubt ourselves in the future and attempt to regress, we know deep down that we are capable of more.
Let’s say that you were No Contact (this is when you insert some much-needed boundaries into your life by cutting contact with your ex so that you can regain your sense of self, process the loss and begin to move forward). At the start, you didn’t believe that you would make it through a day, never mind a week. You manage 6 weeks before you break it. Deep down, you know that you can do it. You’ve already defied your own expectations.