The window of opportunity is the timeframe that we have to act upon an attraction before the moment passes and the person moves on to someone else. People tend to act after they are “out of the frame” i.e the window has passed, and feel confused because they know that the person had feelings for them and have now moved on.
The Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda mentality seems to be rife and there are countless people out there that wonder what would have happened if only they hadn’t done such and such, or hadn’t been slow to react. We have a tendency to think that the grass is greener on the other side, there might be something better around the corner and that there is infinite possibility. This is a very misguided notion that leaves us constantly pondering if there is someone out there that fits the visualisation that you have of the person that you would like to be with, whilst we miss out on relationship opportunities that are right in front of our faces.
Like everything else in life, you need to seize the opportunity when it presents itself as you cannot be sure when or if it will happen again. A great financial deal may surface again and you may have the funds to do it, but if the window of opportunity passes you by for a relationship, you may be watching them go down the street with their future spouse and kids, or out on a date with someone else, or they may even just lose interest all together.
The reason that we let the window of opportunity to pass:
– We fail to realise that the person is attracted to us in the first place
– We play games and it backfires
– We think that even though they are with someone else, that we still have the power to attract him when we feel good and ready
– We think there are lots more fish in the sea
– He’s a Nice Guy, you prefer a Bad Boy or even a Bastard
– We’re afraid of ruining a friendship
– We overestimate our own qualities hence thinking that we have all the time in the world to act upon it
– We’re keeping that person on ice for a rainy day when we think we “might” be interested
– We just aren’t interested…until we see him with someone else
– We’re just not interested, period.
– You’re at different stages, you think that you want to play the field, shag around, not get too serious and you think that he may want to be serious and that scares you.
– We’re afraid and indecisive based on a combination of the above and it immobilises us.
Remember that once the “window of opportunity’ has passed, the offerer (potential love interest) is well within their rights to move on, especially if you have insisted you’re not interested. It is not good form for you to only decide that you’re interested when you see him with someone else. ‘Dog in a manger’ is very unattractive!
I always try to live my life with minimal regrets, which means that I’ve taken my chances, even in the face of the possibility that it may not work out. It’s called taking a risk and being optimistic but it also prevents you from living a life of regrets and romanticising things. People that let the window of opportunity pass have a habit of wondering “What if” and living in ‘Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda’ world and putting a rosy tint on the opportunity that they failed to grab onto when they were presented with it. What they forget is that it could have been brilliant, or it could’ve gone belly up, but they’ll never know because they didn’t take the risk or felt that their reasoning was perfect at that time. That’s why when we make the decision to seize or let the opportunity pass, we need to make a sound decision based on the right thing for you at that particular time, so that there is no room for regrets and thinking that the love of your life is shacked up with someone else and if only you hadn’t flip-flapped, it could’ve been you. Yes, it could have, but ultimately, you’ve got to be in it to win it.