We’ve all been there when a guy has a whiff of doggy dog about him and screams Bad Boy, yet it’s clear that not only can some women not read the signs but they don’t do anything with the knowledge. Here are 21 tips to keep you out of a player’s path or to get you to wise up to the one in your life.
1. He bigs himself up a lot. Men are quite egotistical but men who have Those Who Doth Protest Too Much Syndrome that keep telling you how ‘nice’;’different to their friends’ they are, scream player. Men who elevate themselves onto a perch where they can look down at other guys and say how great they are, have mastered the art of being a player. They use real life examples to illustrate the harm you could come to if you were with some of the other guys they know so that they can distract you from what they are doing.
2. When his phone rings or beeps with a text message, he races for it. If he is shady about taking or receiving calls, I would ask yourself what he is trying to hide. Is he always taking calls in another room when you’re there? Does he look shifty when the phone rings? Would he have a fit if you answered the phone? Does he look nervous if you ask to use it? Is he taking calls late at night?
3. He disappears for periods of time with little or no explanation. I once had an ex tell me he was going out for an hour and he returned thirteen hours later the following day. He was promptly dumped.
4. He’s very routine. If your man is just anal retentive, skip over this one, but in general when guys are inflexible about their time and seem to slot you into the gaps, it’s a clear indicator of the possible existence of another woman in his life. It’s one thing if his routine includes a lot of you, but if the routine is his way of explaining why he can’t see as much of you even when you have been together a long time, this man does not want to let go of his ‘freedom’.
5. He comes around late. A man that consistently turns up to your place late at night does not mean you any good. This is often a trait of men that are also habitually routine with their time. Ask this guy to come around earlier and see how he struggles.
6. He always calls late or at a certain time. This guy is juggling women or just treating you like a booty call. If you are a booty call, fine but if he’s your boyfriend, I would let the alarm bells ring.
7. He flirts with other women but tells you that he’s just being nice and friendly. He’s not, he’s flirting. Also keep an eye on someone who consistently flirts with waitresses and shop assistants. Obviously if you’re a woman that gets jealous when he so much as looks in the direction of the female species, I would skip over this point…
8. He tells lies about small things. If you catch him out on a lie about something small, feel nervous about the big things that he may be lying about.
9. He mentions sexual stuff even though you barely know him. I always hear alarm bells when I get approached by a guy and he manages to slip in something sexual, something far too over familiar very early into the conversation. Men that are focused on getting a peek at your vagina rather than getting to know you, are Player Playa’s. They don’t mean you any good!
10. When you talk to him in a public place, are his eyes wandering to other women as they walk by? This is a clear sign of disrespect but if it’s a consistent habit, it’s a sign of a guy that’s not interested in playing one on one.
11. He hangs out with lots of players. Beware of men that don’t have even one friend amongst their crew that they can ‘look up to’. If your man has lots of friends that are shaggers, babyfathers with babymama drama, men that abuse, trust me when I say that he’s not learning very much that will do you any good. Men that consistently hang around with men that are open about their negative relationship behaviour do so because they can elevate their status and think that they are better with women than they are. If they hung around with guys with good relationship habits, they would see things that they would have to face up to.
12. He has several children by several different women. There is nothing wrong with going out with a man that has a child, but I would pay close attention to any man that has clocked up several children by several different women. It not only screams irresponsible and drama, it screams player extraordinaire.
13. The ex’s keep showing up or calling. This man has a lot of loose ends that he clearly hasn’t dealt with or that he may not want to deal with because he enjoys the attention. Also be wary of mystery women that show up or call. They can’t all be women that have a silly crush on him that he hasn’t encouraged….
14. He tells you he’s a player. One thing that alarms me about women is that even in the face of hearing cold hard facts from a man, they can receive the information and STILL continue the relationship. When a man tells you that he’s a player, it’s because he is.
15. He uses a lot of lines on you. I don’t think there are many men out there that haven’t managed to pick up some social messages about picking up women, but there are still some men that rely on talking complete doo doo and showering a woman with lines – players. This is the charm you and disarm you mechanism. Next thing you know you’ve got your knickers down and you’ve been hooked by a player.
16. His friends and family tell or hint to you that he’s a player. These are your social references. If a previous employer of yours that knows you and your work ethic told your next employer that you weren’t suitable, would you expect them to hire you?
17. Your friends and family think he’s a player. Often our friends and family are able to spot the unsuitability of partners but we fail to recognise it and only really listen after we’ve broken up with him.
18. He flirts with your friends and family. If he can’t even behave around your nearest and dearest, he has serious player issues.
19. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends and family. If you’ve been together for more than 3-6 months, it is particularly odd if you haven’t met his friends. What is he hiding? Or who?
20. He doesn’t call or show up when he says he will. This shows a blatant disrespect for you and your time. When it’s occasional you can let it go, but when it happens consistently, I would question what is preoccupying his time.
21. He lavishes you with gifts to make up for the things that he has done wrong. I’m not averse to women receiving gifts from men but be careful when he thinks that he can always buy his way out of his wrong doings.