Authentic self? Real self? What On Earth Does It Mean To Be Yourself?

In a world proliferated with inspirational quotes and lots of encouragement to be ourselves, lots of us don’t know what this means. It’s why one of my most frequently asked questions is, What the hell does being yourself mean and look like? Being yourself...

Healthy Boundaries Are as Much for You as They Are for Everyone Else

One of the mistakes many make in trying to have boundaries is seeing them solely as a means of guiding and directing or even ruling others. Boundaries are for us first and foremost. Others know our line when we know it. If someone isn’t being boundaried, continuing to...

When Comfort Becomes a Trap: Rethinking How We Soothe Our Emotional Discomfort

Feeling worse when you experience the onset of certain emotions or feeling as if you’re trying to anaesthetize feelings you’re attempting to repress, or feeling at a loss as to what to do when you need comfort and support, means that, like many of us, you haven’t...

About Ignoring Discomfort and Needs Because We’re Hoping They’re the One

When we’re not used to letting our real selves hang out, voicing our needs, and creating healthy boundaries, it’s not unusual to assume that if we’re really into someone and we have ‘so much in common’, the rest should take of itself. In reality, that’s not how humans...

Healthy Boundaries in Supporting a Partner’s Mental Health

Supporting a partner who’s struggling with their mental health without becoming anxious, depressed or low ourselves is possible, but it does take clear boundaries and self-care. We can care for our partner as well as for ourselves. ‘Support’ doesn’t mean ‘be the...