A friend of mine is bewildered by the mixed behaviour of men when it comes to establishing which category your relationship falls into. If we say it’s serious, they nearly pee themselves in fright and become antsy and distant. And all because we’ve ‘defined’ things. But here’s where it gets interesting:
Say that it’s casual, that you’re just having fun, and see how weird he acts then. They don’t get it. Even if they want it to be casual, their brain, their ego, just can’t cope with you wanting it. Men are socialised to expect that all women should want to lock them down.
I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again. Ladies, you don’t need to say that you want it to be casual.
I know it’s nice to explain things and do the ‘honourable thing’, but in casual situations, this becomes ‘women who talk too much’ syndrome.
If it’s casual, it will show itself to be that. Let them be the one to initiate The Talk, and just be non-plussed by it. Casual arrangements are supposed to be just that. When you have to have intense discussions about the state of play, you know that it’s time to call time on it.
We try to do things the ‘right’ way and are upfront and honest about just wanting sex, or just wanting to take it easy, but this doesn’t appeal to the male instinct and I think they feel like they’ve been gazumped because wanting just sex, or to be casual probably reeks of role reversal and as for the being honest about it part, well a lot of guys find that to be a rather foreign concept…
So zip it up ladies, your mouth, that is. Concentrate on enjoying yourself!