There are two types of great sex that you can have: Great Healthy Sex or Great Dysfunctional Sex. The latter is the cornerstone of many a ‘relationship’ these days because we indulge in ‘Friends Who F*ck’, ‘Booty-calls’, ‘Mr Unavailables’ and ‘Bad Boy Drama’. Any sex where there is a significant shift in the balance of power, or where ambiguity, insecurity, dependency, high drama, strung out emotions, or the existence of another person (i.e. the person you’re sleeping with has a girlfriend or wife) makes for Great Dysfunctional Sex.
Ever wondered why the last sex you had with a partner before you broke up was off the chains and mindblowing? Ever wondered why sex with a person that actually ‘belongs’ to someone else feels so damn good?
Ever wondered why sex with an emotionally unavailable man leaves you clinging to him with orgasmic joy and may even push you to tears?
Ever wondered why make-up sex is soooo good? (only applicable if you have make-up sex very frequently)
All of these are governed by a level of dysfunction; some more than others. The way you tell the difference between the two types of sex is that we all know what a healthy relationship is deep down, and if there is more drama than your average soap opera, lots of negative emotion or the existence of another party who doesn’t know that you’re screwing their partner, you know that your relationship is not very healthy and exists through some dysfunction.
Unfortunately having mind blowing sex has been known to keep many a woman in a relationship whether the relationship is good or bad. We mistake a sexual connection for an emotional connection that in turn indicates that there is more to the relationship than there actually is. There is a lot of emotion involved but they aren’t the good emotions that we should be having sex with, which means at some point, it is impacting on our overall self-esteem. These are the conundrums that we face in life and being able to spot the difference in your sex may be the start of a wake up call.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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Ive found in life Great Dirty Sex=Bad Love