Talk to anyone who has ever been in relationship and we all have our own interpretation of honesty. Honestly speaking – we don’t live in an ideal world where we can spill every little thought and tell every little thing that has happened to us, but I think that in order for us to progress in our relationships, we must get a better grip on our honesty levels. Many of us worry about being honest about a lovers appearance (Does my arse look fat?) but many of us don’t spend as much time deliberating on whether we should be honest about cheating, interaction with ex’s, in-law’s or about simple things such as whether we have or haven’t done something that we promised to do.
The honesty issue is always illustrated by the divide between the sexes. Men only want to be literal when it suits them to be, and women tend to handle a hell of a lot of things with their emotions. The guy thinks he has a brilliant, rational reason for withholding a nugget of information or just plain lying and often fails to understand why the woman is upset. Please note that I’m not in any way, shape or form implying that it’s only men who are dishonest!
When men lie to women they often proclaim that they did so because they didn’t want to cause upset, they knew how we’d react, or they thought that we’d make a bigger deal out of it than necessary. How is that they have failed to figure out that for most of us, even in the face of hearing something we may not like, we’d prefer that to dishonesty? Also a consistent habit of lying about little things makes the recipient of these lies wonder about the bigger things that may be hidden.
However when women say they want honesty in relationships, we may need to learn to be better recipients of information and not freak out and get over emotional no matter how tempting. Sometimes the guy gauges this reaction and then decides that every time he’s honest about certain things this is the reaction he’ll get. Give him the environment to be open and honest and then he has no legitimate reason for being dishonest with you.
On both sides, honesty is as honesty does. The level of honesty you expect in a relationship is what you should be prepared to give to your significant other. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones and all that jazz…..