If you plan to watch Sex and The City: The Movie, I suggest you don’t read this post because the ending is discussed!
A couple of weeks ago, I went to finally see the movie version of what I regard as one of my favourite programmes of all time. I’m not a woman who believed that I was one of the characters but I did identify with aspects of each of these women. When Carrie got her great big fairy tale ending at the registry office with Big at the end though, there is no other way to describe this, but I was fuming and extremely disappointed!
Now I’m not the responsibility police and these women are hardly role models, however the Sex and The City movie would have been a far more empowering story for women if Carrie had told that emotionally unavailable, flip flapping, good for nothing, Mr Big to go take a run and jump. In fact, I would have applauded if she had gone to the apartment, hurled herself into his arms, shagged him, and then bade him goodbye and walked out of the penthouse with her head held high, leaving him dazed and confused!
My friends were overjoyed with the ending but I noticed a sea change when we caught up a couple of days ago because now that the glow had worn off, they felt the same irritation too!
The biggest problem that I have with the Sex and The City movie is that it sends a message to millions of women who have been pissed around by Mr Unavailables the world over, that there is a happy ending with these assclowns! This is completely misleading! It’s the fairy tale not the reality. Why do books and movies continue to believe that all women want to do is aspire to having it all and the fairy tale?
I have had several emails from readers asking whether the same thing could happen with their Mr Unavailable. Oh. Sweet. Jesus!
Let’s take a step back. For a start, Big entered the show as emotionally unavailable, continued to be emotionally unavailable, and ended emotionally unavailable. On the surface it appeared that he had changed, but in fact, he let her in as much as he was capable of letting her in.
Now under some circumstances, I would say that it could be a matter of working with what you’ve got but there are two things that change this idea of accepting exactly what you’re given and sticking to him like glue:
1) Exactly how much frickin’ humiliation does one woman have to go through before she accepts that the guy is an assclown and let’s go, irrespective of what her heart or libido say?
2) There is such a thing as managing your expectations and keeping them realistic, but should we have to change ourselves and minimise our desires to keep the species with a penis happy?
Now I admit, the fatal mistake Carrie made with Big (other than being with him) is that she allowed the wedding to become bigger than him. By the time his balls started shriveling back up inside him at the thought of getting married, the numbers had rocketed from somewhere around 75 to over two hundred! For a man who hid her from his mother in the first series and had kept their lives pretty separate and distinct throughout the six years of the show, this is quite a leap!
You all know that Mr Unavailables can barely even commit to what they will eat the following day, nevermind agreeing to declare their feelings for you in front of all and sundry!
But regardless of the fact that Carrie didn’t sit there and think ‘Hmmm…Big has been married twice before, has disappointed me more times than the number of shoes in my closet, has pissed off to Paris in the past and ended up marrying someone else, has screwed me behind his wife’s back, has been more content in the past to chase me for phone sex than be in a bonafide relationship, who only finally realised he wanted me after I moved away to Paris to be with someone else, and who seems to communicate in weird half sentence speak about moving in together and didn’t actually propose to me. Hmmm…”, none of this excuses the fact that Big let his ego, his world, his fears, his everything as usual, get bigger than what he had with Carrie.
As usual, Mr Unavailable is the centre of the universe. “This is my third marriage. How do you think that [inviting 200+ people and big wedding] makes me look?”
Big forgot he wasn’t the only one getting married and it may be his third marriage…but it was Carrie’s first…
And when Carrie got mad at Miranda for making the crass marriage comment after her bust up with her estranged husband Steve, whilst I think it was a tactless comment, it certainly was not the reason why Big had panicked – It was the excuse he’d been looking for.
A wedding lasts for a few hours, a day, whatever. A marriage if you want it and the person, and plus you’re committed to having and living the best marriage possible, can last a lifetime.
At the end of the day, you cannot have it all and if you want to focus your life’s efforts on nabbing your Mr Unavailable, then you need to prepare to dig in for the long haul, to suffer a hell of a lot of pain and possibly humiliation, and you will need to tone yourself down in order to make it work.
You’ll need to focus on the finishing line that you (might) reach rather than the killer route you took, and remember that often when we nab these men, it often ends up being one big anti climax. And don’t be surprised if whilst you’re focused on the finishing line, he chooses someone else.
If you’re prepared not to expect, then this could work for you, but that’s quite a risk and as women, we like to expect the reasonable stuff, and can often set our sights a bit (or even a lot) higher. So you’d tell yourself that you’d go with the flow and then because he’s still there after a year or has been spending time at your place a lot, you’ll get it into your head that you should move in together.
Habitual Mr Unavailables don’t change – “ they morph to suit their agenda. When they’re still living the bachelor life and they’re pushing 50, it suddenly occurs to them that they might not still have the ‘magic’ and that they should get a ‘girl’ to settle down with, after all, their egos can’t cope without a constant stroking. They fear committing to letting you go and they fear committing to the relationship in it’s entirety and like to focus on isolated chunks.
The biggest tests of Mr Unavailables is:
Do they continue to blow consistently hot when you’re with them, or do they only blow hot when they believe they’re in danger of losing you?
And does the relationship only work well when it’s on their terms?
Quite frankly, if more women dealt with their beliefs about themselves, love, and relationships, Mr Unavailables would stop being attractive to them because they would detract more from their more positively evolved life than they would add to it.
Carrie should have grown some balls but in the end, she chose love over logic. What we don’t realise is that when we have a positive relationship with ourselves and healthy beliefs about men, love, and relationships, logic actually comes in line with love.
Your thoughts?
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Finally someone who says it like it really is! Romantic fairytales always end with the ‘they lived happily ever after’ scenario but you never get to see the day after. Wouldn’t Big eventually go back to his same old behaviour ; or possibly start to feel restricted by his ‘third’ marriage.
The small hint that things weren’t so fine and dandy was when Charlotte has her public outburst in the restaurant and declares that Big propsed after dating for 10 years. That just says it all! Hey girls, if you hang in there for 10 long years, you too just might get the guy! True love hurts and the more you endure, the more proof that it must be love. What a load of baloney!
oh my god.. I am so glad you posted this.. To start I thought the wedding scene was very well done as well as the “honeymoon” after when she could not get out of bed, wanted to sleep and was, as i like to call it, ROCK BOTTOM. I could relate to that at some level.
I 100% agree that after that and all the other bs she put up with it was way unrealistic that she forgave him, took him back, and they married.. And the funniest part of all is that I’ve seen postings on this site with women referring to that “happy ending”… and that just does not happen..
I agree with you NML… she should have shagged him,ave him his pink slip for good, and walked away with a huge smile on her face which read.. “empowerment”…
How does one forgive a situation like that after dealing with a dozen other f up’s before that?
oh, and for the record, the closet was a little far fetched….
I’d agree with you if it was a real story, but it’s a fairy tale!
Let’s enjoy it for what it is. Fiction! Why, do you think it’s credible that she could afford so many pairs of expensive shoes writing one column a week?
Of course it’s not realistic! And I wouldn’t want it to be. I have enough reality in my own life and in the lifes of the women I read about in this blog.
Sex and The City never meant to be “empowering” , to send a message, to be an example or a bible on dating. It’s funny, futile and frivolous.
Who would take Carrie and Big as an example of what to do and how to behave with a man?
If grown up women follow the “message” that emotionally unavailable men can change just because “MR BIG changed in the end”, well I have to say they are very very silly women.
Nilondoner, I think you miss the point. We use fiction to learn about people and about feelings. The Sex and the City movie will have more impact on more lives than any non-fiction book since Dr. Spock wrote his civilization-wrecking book (his baby book).
Think of how seriously the courts take kiddie porn. Fiction is *powerful*. Watch a movie about promiscuity and you create an environment for casual sex, disrespectful lives, deceit and hiding things from yourself, your friends, and your family. How many people feel revved and excited on the way home from watching Fast and Furious, other adventure or car shows, car races, etc. and have to watch themselves closely to avoid driving faster, more aggressively?
Just because the Sex and the City TV show was popular, the movie started out with a certain authority. The story has been going on for years, in reruns and the original broadcasts, in fans following the development of the movie, and the promotion and ‘buzz’ about the opening of the movie. Which means even the subtle things like which soft drinks appear on screen or get mentioned will see a change in sales.
And besides. Sex is never just sex. You either interact with a trusted, respectful, responsible mate, or you risk getting hurt.
When you share intimacies, verbal, sexual, or emotional, you open your heart. What is Carrie opening her heart to? Remember – this is fiction. The wedding is not a fairy tale ending. It is probably the prelude to the disaster film they plan as the sequel story.
I think you make a good point NML, but as far as the movie goes it’s also important to take into consideration that, supposedly, they had been together drama-free for the four years between when the show ended and the movie took place. Assuming that, it’s not too much to believe that she would have forgiven him (though I wouldn’t have, especially after her apartment was remodeled so beautifully. What a great shade of blue!).
NML, good post, I saw the movie, and although I have been a S&TC fan for years, I, too, was disappointed that Carrie took Big back and married him–seemingly right at the point that she had re-empowered herself and was getting on with her life. I was impressed at how she picked herself up, and moved on–only to go running into his arms after being apart from him for six months and learning to live without him. I mentioned to my friend after we were walking out of the theater that I wished Carrie would have told Big to f*** himself and walk away from him once and for all. That would have sent an incredible message to women, even if it is “just a movie” and it is fantasy, not reality. I was also kind of annoyed that Carrie took a lot of the responsibility for why Big jilted her at their wedding–she should have been excited and gone overboard about her wedding–she waited for that assclown for 10 years! 🙂
Thank goodness you wrote this post (and all the others before it 🙂
It is good to hear the clear truth, and have it focused specifically on each issue so clearly.
I’ve never seen Sex in The City. Now I’m going to make a point to get the DVD’s and then see the movie.
Every time you remind me that Mr. Unavailable is an assclown who won’t change – and that I shouldn’t be co-operating in the dance in any way – it helps me, big time.
I see where I shouldn’t be going, and why. Thank you.
You know of course they will be going through a bitter divorce in the sequel, because Big will cheat on her, and she will realize that he was never available, not ever, not even with a ring on his finger.
I agree with you! I think it portrays the idea that is okey to take sh..t and to become doormats! How much more is Carry going to take from him?? Left at the altar!!! and she takes him back!!! Is she an idiot?! And this is from someone with so much self-eestem as Carrie? what a BS!
Complete dissapointment …The perfect ending would have been that she ends it forever with him, eventually finds somebody much better (hotter & richer and everything else) and that she comes to realize how much better she did without him!!
Normally, I’d agree with you, NML, but they had been living together for four drama free years, as Honey said; so, obviously Big had proven himself over the years. The easy intimacy at the beginning of the film, right down to her borrowing his glasses to read, indicates a real relationship has developed.
Point 2: almost as soon as he pulled away, he said, “What the hell am I doing? Turn around, she’ll have left if you don’t.” Then he stepped out of the car and met her in the street. They could have gone back and gotten married then and there.
And, of course, it is a feel-good comedy.
But here’s my question to you: you always remind us that if we’re pulling in emotionally unavailable assclowns, we’re emotionally unavailable assclowns ourselves – we’re just not facing it. So you help us to see what we are and move forward and change.
So if we can go from being emotionally unavailable to being emotionally connected, why can’t almost losing Carrie – who DID put her foot down in “An American in Paris, part une” – be the impetus for Big to change?
NO, it doesn’t usually happen. But if we make allowances for ourselves to change, maybe it’s time we allow for the fact that if men make those steps towards self-awareness, so can they.
Yes, the truth is that they usually don’t. But we have to allow for the fact that they CAN.
Iz xx
Izzy, I think the difference is that women who are emotionally unavailable can still connect to others and can still fall in love, although it is usually with the wrong man. They can still give their heart and feel pain and sadness. I don’t believe that emotionally unavailable men can do these things–they are too disconnected from themselves and they are emotionally vacant. Anyway, it would be a wonderful world if EUMs could wake up one day and be emotionally healthy, loving people. I think THAT is the real fantasy…..
Carrie should have kept NC, she was doing so well.. LOL
Have to disagree with this one. I thought it was great and true to the series. Loved it. He told her that he was worried marriage would change thing in the proposal scene. It did change things, and Miranda’s comment was the icing.
BTW: I am painting my foyer the blue from the movie. I found out what color it was. No I am not a SITC pycho–i just loved it.
Maybe the fact that the movie has stirred up different opinions is what the writers were trying to accomplish????
@ Candy – Yes! This whole suffering immense pain for our men is a crock! What pain do they go through? 10 frickin years and STILL he was fannying around at the end! I know it’s fictional but come on! I guess this is what rom com’s are all about…
@Sheila – When she whupped him around the head with that bouquet, I really felt that. It was so emotional, it was brilliant and I thoroughly enjoyed the honeymoon. Overall, the film has a great feel good factor but the ending is a crock. Yeah that closet could not possibly have fit in that space! I’ve seen some of the postings too and it makes me feel nervous – some people do believe this could happen to them… Nice fantasy…
@Nilondoner – You’re right – it’s total fiction but that doesn’t detract from the message. I don’t believe that ending could happen to me…but some women do and because the programme historically empowered women by promoting certain values and ideals that women the world over emulated and aspired to, it stands to reason that it continues with this film. I don’t want to call these women ‘silly’ – when you’re in a bad relationship and looking for a reason to stay invested, ‘hope’ comes in a variety of guises…
@Brad K – as usual, very eloquently and intelligently put. SATC sells a lifestyle. I remember that my favourite lunch place Pret a Manger was featured in the film, and judging by this thread, I’m not the only one loving that shade of blue in the apartment. I think your use of the word ‘authority’ is pivotal and at the end of the day, SATC from the moment the first episode was shown on our screens has not only the power to shape the lives of women everywhere. Just ask all of those women who tried to emulate Samantha Jones….
Honey – That’s a very good point about the 4 years. However, if things were that great, why oh why oh why, did they still end up at this juncture? Should it be this easy to put the frighteners on your relationship?
FinallyOverIt – Brilliant point – Big gets to write stupid love letters and blow hot over the email whilst Carrie like many a Fallback Girl blames herself for what has happened. Now I don’t deny that she failed to listen to his concerns about the wedding or ‘guess’ that with his track record, he’d want a tiny affair, but like many a Fallback Girl, she assumed that it was something that she had done that was responsible for the outcome, when in the reality, Big would have found himself with these fears irrespective of wedding size or a silly comment made. If it wasn’t the wedding, it would be something else.
@Loving Annie – Glad to be of help! The key thing that we must remember is that if these men change, it’s of their own accord and it normally isn’t with us by their side. If they are really screwed up, if they suddenly have an epiphany and change their ways, they are actually likely to associate us with a negative part of their life. On the flipside, we are equally as privy to the same thing. If a Fallback Girl gets wise to her issues and deals with them, all of the drama and his egotistical ways are no longer attractive. Ultimately men don’t change because we love the crap out of them and stay at their side. If that was the case, there would be no such thing as Fallback Girls. That’s also an interesting point about the sequel – if they ever want to get these women back on the big (or small) screen again, it’ll have to be for some heavyweight drama!
Izzy – I think you make excellent points but if we manage our lives on the basis of giving these men plenty of room to change, where do we draw the line? It takes 2 people to make a relationship work – both of you need to have both feet in. If we have to change and tone our desires down to always fit in with their needs, what’s so great about that. I don’t believe he changed – it was all still me, me, me and Carrie made her choice and his me, me, me became hers. And if that works for someone, that’s great, but for most it doesn’t because it means losing ourselves. These men can change…but it’s rarely with the Fallback Girl. Remember, we choose men that reflect the things that we believe about ourselves. If we don’t believe those things anymore, what’s so attractive?
@Anna – I hear you! I felt her pain at the wedding scene and the anger was palpable! The humiliation stung and I just wonder how you get down the aisle a second time without handcuffing them to you…
@FinallyOverIt – Thanks for making me giggle! That’s some fantasy! You are quite right about Fallback Girls – the love is born out of negativity but they certainly have more capacity to feel. Many women will admit they have a problem and look for a solution and get help – if a Mr Unavailable already thinks he’s Mr Wonderful, he’s too distanced from reality to recognise that he *needs* help! Something catastrophic needs to happen to shock them into reality!
@Sheila – Thanks for making me laugh out loud in my bed! She should have done – she’d be a stronger, wiser woman with a better man and life for it.
@nysharon – Don’t get me wrong, I loved the film and based on the way the last series ended, we shouldn’t be that surprised that they threw a monkey wrench in the works to get them back together. Carrie did let the wedding get bigger than Big, but which bride hasn’t got a little carried away? Marriage does change things and ideally it should be for the positive – marriage is about commitment and if the only way you can get your man down the aisle is by paring it down and doing it at the registry office to hold in his heebee jeebies, I would feel scared.
@FinallyOverIt – True – It certainly has had very mixed reviews and much of it for strands of the same reason. It’s just a bit too much. It’s like they were trying to get her to have it all in 2 hours and 20 mins but they don’t realise that having it all sent things a bit over the edge.
Thing about this that makes me laugh the most is that I saw this movie with my EUM and he cried several times throughtout this movie.. He thought the ending was wonderful I had to disagree and I applaud everything that you wrote above.EUMs do not change no way no how ….
Well said ladies. I feel the movie kinda undid a little of what the show was all about. The show was all about empowering women and showed women playing men at their own game a lot of the time (mainly Samantha!). The way Carried fell back into Big’s arms at the end and actually apologised to HIM after what he had done to her was a big disapointment. Okay so he has already been married twice, but Carrie hadn’t. If he has truly love her he would have wanted her to have that wedding of her dreams, particularly after waiting so long and going through so much. But no. She had to do it his way or no way. So she ended up in the sober suit in a register office because that was what he wanted. I saw it for the second time last night, through different eyes, those of my more cynical friend who came with me and I understood what she had seen in it the first time. I mean, I’m a SATC anorak and will still buy the thing on DVD when it’s released but I sooo agree with the posts that say the ultimate ending would have been for her to go have sex with him, get what she wanted and then tell him to **** off and get out of her life. That’s what I came to expect from the show, and I understand that that was possibly the only way they could end it but I too was so proud of Carrie for picking herself up and rebuilding her life after that assclown broke her heart for the 100th time. As my friend pointed out it could be dangerous for young naive girls to watch this movie and belive that a man like Big could ever change because as we who have dated EUM know, they never will.
Oh, thank God!!!!!!!!!!! Someone said it!
I will admit that I was the first person to clap when I heard that Big and Carrie were going to get married, long before the movie ever came out but I never imagned this!!!!!!!!!! I was all for the first wedding. I loved the wedding scene, the way Carrie reacted, the honeymoon was amazing (that scene of her in the bathroom is perhaps the best scene in the whole movie) but it slowley starts to go down hill from there … Balming herself for him not showing up?!? That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard. If he didn’t want to go through with it, he could have at least let her know days before the event not while she was waiting for him, all dressed up on the stairs … And then to have her apologize to him?!? That just ruined everything for me. I love Big and Carrie, always have but the movie’s ending managed to ruin that for me as well … What she should have done was pick up the pieces and move on with her life …The movie didn’t have a feel good ending for me (especially since she took him back after six months in which the only thing he did was send her some emails!!!!!!! that’s it?!?)
And I get so annoyed when people say ‘well he came back, they could have gotten married then.’ I mean is this what these women would do? They’d marry the clown after he left them at the alter because he came back 5 minutes later saying: he’s ready now! I’m sorry but that doesn’t cut it. You’re either ready from the beginning or just go away!!!!!!!!! And why does everything have to be done his way? Why the citty hall wedding which is so not Carrie? Why couldn’t he just make the “huge” sacrifice to show up on his wedding day and get married knowing that it would make her happy. A man who truly loved he would have done that.
Loredana, I think each case of being left at the altar has to be looked at separately. Yes, sometimes one wakes up and decides the attraction isn’t enough, that one agreed too readily to the wrong person. And rather than be honest and responsible, just disappear at the last moment.
But often the wedding event and the the rituals around it raise questions that hadn’t been answered. Questions about the partner, about one’s self, about society, and life, and love. There are probably more reasons to call off a wedding than to proceed. And anger at a delay, a postponement, or a cancellation makes binding things back together tougher.
My sister’s fiance broke of their engagement a month or two before the wedding. My parents were furious at him for playing around, breaking his word, etc. Yada, yada. I figured Sis and the ex had to make their choices, and changing their minds early seemed more honest. I think their 34th anniversary is in two months.
Dude who ever wrote this article is a psycho. It’s a film, they didn’t think that deep that it would piss off you fower power female empowerment women…okay?!??
Have you personally been jolted 10-15 times by the “Mr Bigs” of this world? If yes, fine, then you are the assclown who allows it.
Don’t hate the player, hate the game you nutcase.
in fact…i am reading some more comments…why are you women all so pissed off? In general I notice this “anti-men” sentiment. ITS A MOVIE, get over it. (unless in real llife you all behave just as pathetic as carrie and thus, feel horribly guilty about it)
@what: Fiction teaches us how people react and behave in artificial situations that the author contrives. The actors or characters might be fictitious, but we identify with them. In many ways, fiction is more personal than histories and science and instruction manuals and other non-fiction.
Storytelling makes the story come alive – helps us “live” the story.
Look at kiddie porn. Your government certainly believes that fiction affects people.
SATC was titillating when it broadcast on TV – it let people experience provocative and steamy situations without actually risking their hearts or their friends or their families, etc. Many fans enjoyed reliving those times and those stories during the very successful reruns – when much of the coarser language had been cleaned up.
Now the movie takes the prurient route of other TV shows gone Hollywood – and the movie falls into the trap of getting more blatantly sexual, just because they can. They figure they are screening out the little kids, so they tell a more ‘adult’ story. Only they missed the point that the fans enjoyed the characters, living through mistakes and moving on, enjoying the vicarious abuse and neglect of Mr. Big and other villains. The implied sex activity of the TV show was more satisfying, easier for the audience to imagine and understand, than merely showing skin.
But that is a general movie review. This blog is Baggage Reclaim. The focus is women hurt by the Mr. Big’s of the world. That single aspect of the movie is quite poignant and frustrating and appalling and so awfully obvious – at least it should have been, to a woman that had been through this wringer as many times as Carrie with Mr. Big. And it is quite expected that that aspect of the movie would be a rightful topic right here.
It is a movie. Contrived. The story isn’t real in any sense – except for the way that women do get messed around by the Mr. Bigs. And, here, the issues are personal. Because the situation is believable and outrageous and harmful, and all too common.
It’s just a movie. Only, here, the issue is not women’s lib. The issue is healthy self-image, healthy relationships and family values, and behavior that hurts over and over. Perhaps you could have read a bit more of Baggage Reclaim, before taking umrage. Unless you worry that something you read here will affect your life. After all, it is only a website.
I think this is all non-sense you’re talking about!!! I’ve been a Satc fan for quite a number of years, and still I believed from the very beginning that Carrie was going to end up with Big. And it’s not just fiction. It’s that weakness that most women have for the men they can’t get,or get hold of. Be he an asshole who hurt her a lot over a period of ten years, but their on-and-off relationship felt most natural for both of them. And for the sake of that did they finally marry. I guess it must have been real love (whatever that is) or great compatibility,mixed with the fear of ending up alone and unhappy,as they are both coming of age, and one of Carrie’s biggest fears had always been not finding her almost happy ending.
I must say that I found all the drama and even the ending of the movie quite realistic for the genre. I don’t know how many women would like their happy ending with Mr. Perfect, who treats them right and never makes them feel uncomfortable. We need more challenges, we need the low-downs and the extremely-high-ups. So don’t blame me if I think that, even in reality,we prefer the assholes, because there’s nothing that compares to the feeling of having tamed the emotionally unavailable beast.
Agreed! Your article was great! I am a SATC fan and I almost walked out of the movie (for various reasons) but you’re speaking here of Carrie and Mr. Big. One thing that hasn’t been brought up is that Carrie (in Season 4 of the show–in The Vogue Idea) tells Julian (editor) that her father left her mother and her when Carrie was 5 years old and that to this day Carrie had no idea why he left. Then the writers just dropped this significant information. Carrie did write (in her column) “how much do father figures figure?) and after talking with Miranda, Carrie figured out not much. Carrie herself tells Miranda that Miranda is BOTH mother AND father to Miranda’s unborn baby. No. Steve is the father. We clearly know that. Why the writers introduced this, I don’t know because it was never followed up on and it was totally dismissed as having an impact on a girl child/adult woman (especially when there was no therapy around it to deal with the feelings.) IF the writers had played this part as they should, yeah, it makes perfect sense why Carrie would go for “Mr. Big”…how do fathers look to little 5 year old girls? Big. His disappearing acts would entice her also. Yet this was never brought up (except in one section of one episode of the series and then dismissed as unimportant–what bunk!)
In the book Bushnell does NOT have Carrie and Big together. In fact, they make a conscious decision in the end to NOT be together and Carrie continues her single life. Yet, Bushnell in an interview, when asked about the movie’s ending said she thought it was wonderful. Yeah, I guess so.
An issue is brought up re: the wedding being so “big”…200 people is actually not all that big. If Big had such a problem with it, don’t you think he would have said, NO, if you want to get married, we’re not having that many people and that would have been it? Still it’s not that many–don’t care if it’s his 3rd wedding.
My brother had 600 people at his, and I had 900…and we are NOT Mr. Bigs or Ms. Bigs. We were in small towns where everyone knew each other and had facilities large enough. So, Big’s whining about the number was stupid. If he didn’t like it, he could EASILY have changed Carrie’s mind at the start. Miranda’s comment could have bothered him but was played up in a ridiculous manner.
I always wondered why Carrie couldn’t commit to Aidan when she clearly loved him…(this was before I saw the father abandonment episode)…knowing how genuine Aidan was and how much he loved her, sure, she wouldn’t marry him. Only wanted someone who would use her. Including the writers. The writers, I think, used an abandoned, dysfunctional woman to catalog her “acting-out” for “our entertainment” (which makes me cold on the whole series and I disliked the movie anyway–was bored as hell.) I went with my husband and we said, where is the clever writing? This is horrible. It also was before either of us had seen the father-abandonment episode. How we missed that I have no idea. Once I saw that episode I was really turned off, especially when the writers had Carrie (and Miranda) dismiss father-abandonment as signficant in a girl’s life. I thought, geez, these writers aren’t even letting the characters do their thing…this whole enterprise (series and movie) was more contrived than we all thought. Using “abused” people and making it look as if they were “normative” women.
I too was shocked that Carrie married Mr Big.
I myself married a Mr Big a few years ago and within a very short time (the honeymoon) realised I had made a terrible mistake. Despite the vows and his tears at the altar he was still completely emotionally unavailable and I had become his ‘perfect corporate wife.’ I had the courage to leave after 3 years. It was hell. But I know now and am gradually understanding what led me to unavailable men. That in itself is a voyage of discovery – painful but liberating. Whilst SATC isn’t real life, it is about 4 cool empowered chicks. The film was a travesty.
Good for you, Annie! That took a lot of nerve, what you did, but was the right thing to do once you knew what the deal was. Really saw it. It is strange how “the wedding” can cause a shift and this is something that is rarely talked about it seems.
Yeah, the film could have been very good and was just plain dead. My husband and I talked over a meal one night of all the things that could have happened that would have been really interesting (at least to us.) Both of us were totally bored. It’s a poor showing for the women of America. I feel, though, that so many of us were set up because the writing on the series was good and the very different from the movie. If we’d known that a major regression was going to occur, many of us would have skipped the film. We wouldn’t have added to it’s “success.”
To “What” above if he or she ever reads this:
I don’t see anti-male sentiments here. I see anti-getting jerked around sentiments here. And yeah, it does happen a lot. It happens a lot in our culture and our world. When movies like SATC glorify it, it makes it really bad–that’s where the anger is coming from.
NML, I just discovered your blog today and I absolutely love it.
I also love that you feel the exact way I did about the Sex and The City ending! I saw it with a bunch of girlfriends and they were crying happy tears and whatnot at the end, but I was pissed! I believe my exact words were ‘how much shit does he get to do to her and still have everything be alright?’. I mean, he couldn’t be bothered to even get his ass up out of the car? Ridiculous. I loved the Sex and The City series, and I enjoyed the movie a great deal, but that ending was b.s. I love your approach for looking deeper into the Mr. Unavailalble and Fallback Girl syndrome that was so clearly displayed here.
Aiden now theres a guy why could SATC give us a credible healthy ending for lovely little Carrie and Gogeous Aiden who could ask for anything more , Mr Big Pig not attractive not available Egotistic narssacistic who would marry Big , it was horseshit i hated Sarah Jessica Parker for agreeing on this ending , Aiden was the one , i will say it again Aiden was the one, dradful embrassing movie i hated it , why do they sell out, they should have kept in in the series form with the her marrying Aiden and all the others happy and content but living real life .
Why couldnt SATC give us a credible healthy ending for lovely little Carrie
Gogeous Aiden was THE ONE !!!!
Mr Big – Pig is soooooooo not attractive unless you are a codapendant and then hello to Mr Unavailable
What healthy woman would marry Mr Big …. he is unavailable ,certainly not Carrie whose character has been credibly built over the whole 6 series …..
It was a crock and shame on SATC for selling out, all healthy women wanted her to get married to Aiden he was amazing ….why did they write this crap and futhermore why did i go and see it
Shame on you SJP and shame on SATC
Why didnt SATC give us a credible healthy ending for lovely little Carrie ?
Gogeous Aiden was ”THE ONE !!!!”
Mr Big – Pig is soooooooo not attractive unless you are a codapendant or sex and love addict and then hello to ” Mr Unavailable ”
What healthy woman would marry Mr Big …. ????
Carrie ???? com’on………………………………………….
Why did they write this crap ? and futhermore why did i go and see it.grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Shame on you SJP and shame on SATC for selling out .