In and effort to expose the obnoxious and preposterous behavior of ‘unavailable men,’ I’ve decided to recount the recent experience of a friend, as told to me over several drinks’¦

They met on a Minneapolis to NYC flight. He wasn’t bad looking, no movie star, but appealing just the same. She recently moved to Manhattan and he lived in Brooklyn, and they were both first generation Americans, so plenty in common. He took her phone number.

Since she received three calls from him in her first three days back in NYC, and then nothing for two weeks, he had completely passed out of her mind.
Then, out of the blue, one Thursday evening he called her. He was in her neighborhood, she asked him to stop by. They made some small talk about their jobs, etc, and they proceed to have the following conversation:
Her: ‘How many roommates did you say you have?’
Him: ‘Two.’
Her: ‘You must have a huge apartment.’
Him: ‘It’s a two bedroom. I have a guy roommate who lives in one of the bedrooms. The other room has a queen-sized bed that I share with a female roommate. Occasionally we have sex.
Ummmm’Yeah. Let’s analyze this. He shares a room AND a BED with a woman, and they fuck. That looks and smell like a girlfriend. I say he’s got a girlfriend. And what’s more remarkable is that he mentioned it at all, and BEFORE the sex’

Yes, this preposterous conversation was followed by sex. Why did she sleep with him? I guess she was horny, and she’s not bold like NYM here, so she won’t go out to bars to pick up men by herself. Yes, of course it’s appalling that she slept with him, but the sex was so horrendous as to merit a posting of its own. Stay tuned’

About the author: After receiving a nice, wholesome upbringing in a typical Midwestern town of the US, this intelligent, witty, and frequently snarky chick, craving adventure, managed to receive her first real-world instruction on the streets of Paris. After that eye opening and somewhat harrowing experience, on a whim, she moved to The Big Apple where she was permanently corrupted. She’s an armchair psychologist and enjoys analyzing herself and others, while maintaining a deep appreciation for the ironies of life.

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