I’m excited to finally be able to share the recording of the ‘live show’ from the International Women’s Podcast Festival on June 18th. In it, I share lessons and observations from my journey about love, loving yourself, and not settling for shadiness from yourself or others. This episode is the final one of the summer as it’s time for my annual summer break. I’ll be back in September, but in the meantime, I’ll share a few replays of favourite episodes. Have a fab summer!
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5 key topics in this episode
- Shady relationships don’t bring out the best in us. They’re drama. Between living a lie by making lots of excuses, denying, rationalising and minimising, calling ourselves too sensitive, needy, difficult, demanding, rude, etc., and experiencing gaslighting, ultimately, we settle for far less than what we need, desire and deserve.
- Our relationships begin before we’ve even met the person because of the relationship we have with ourselves. However, this narrative that we have to love or heal ourselves ‘100%’ before we can be in a loving relationship feeds this idea that we are broken. To be clear, that’s not true.
- When we consider how we react when things don’t go our way, we can see that we’re not always emotionally generous with ourselves. Instead, we’re really hard on us and quick to put the boot in. e.g. You should have tried harder. Why do you always screw things up? Yet with someone else in a similar situation, we’ll be far kinder. When we practice emotional generosity, we’re willing to offer ourselves compassion, empathy, patience and loyalty.
- All any frustrating situation is saying to you is, Okay, what’s the deal with you here? What’s your boundary? And how are we going to move this forward? No frustrating situation is trying to communicate your worthiness!
- If you’re not being shady towards yourself, you’re not going to tolerate someone else being shady towards you.
Links mentioned + recommended resources
- Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl
- Love, Care, Trust and Respect
- 100 Days of Baggage Reclaim
- Reflections: Knowing Your Own Approval
- Reflections: Knowing Your Own Love
- Podcast Ep. 248: Keeping It Real About Self-Esteem
- Self-esteem means acknowledging all of you, not just your supposed shortcomings
- Podcast Ep. 109: The Four Qualities
- 11 Signs You’re in the Wrong Relationship and That It’s Time to Break Up
- The self-abandonment of compartmentalising other people’s shady behaviour isn’t worth it
- Podcast Ep. 122: Relationship Crumbs, Whether It’s From The Shady or The ‘Nice’, Are Crumbs
- Podcast 185: The Emperor DOESN’T Have Any Clothes On – Let’s Talk About Gaslighting
- Being called “too sensitive” is a code red alert to listen to yourself
- Podcast Ep. 197: Using Code Amber and Code Red Alerts To Be More Boundaried
- Why you haven’t allowed you to move on: self-criticism is an expression of an unmet need
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