Good morning! I’m about to head off to go ice skating for the first time since I was about fourteen! I can’t wait to surprise the kids and also enjoy being a big kid myself. I fell really hard all those years ago and was very self-critical about it at the time so it will be great to make fresh memories and let my younger self skate and laugh.
On another note, it’s time for a new episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast!
Here’s what I cover in episode 16:
The Booty Call Mentality: When the handyman from episode 4 showed up a few weeks back, all charm and acting as if nothing had happened because he wanted something from us, I realised that even when it’s not about sex, people can treat you like a booty call.
Regret: I talk about wanting to turn back time and about how a lot of what keeps us stuck is our inner critic having a pop and then us being almost paralysed to actually do anything.
Show Pony Parenting: I hear from so many people who want to forge closer relationships with a parent and end up hurt because their parent would rather make it look like they have a closer relationship on Facebook or when talking to people, but not actually put the effort in.
Listener Question – When do you end a close friendship? When you have an argument with a friend and don’t speak and then start speaking again but it’s super awkward still months later and it’s not going back to how it used to be, does it mean that it’s the end of the friendship?
What Nat Learned This Week: Em and I spent weeks faffing around about where to go for Christmas. In the end, I got up on Tuesday morning and started making decisions. Someone has to get the ball rolling!
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Listener questions can be emailed to podcast AT baggagereclaim DOT com and if there’s a topic you’d love me to talk about, let me know!
Nat xxx
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! 🙂
Thank you all for your words of advice, support, understanding… This Christmas I hope we all get a little bit of happiness inside, and if not at least a bit of hope. The very gift of hope. Yey!
And thank you, Nat… For the blog, the words, the time you put in. I’m super happy I’ve stumbled across this last year just about this time of the year. Hope you have lovely, lovely Christmas smiles…!
Thank you Ro – merry Christmas to you too and wishing you much love and light in 2016. It’s good to have you here at BR. Take care xxx
Thank you so much for this podcast! I was feeling guilty from getting the cold shoulder from a co-worker who I had a fling with. About two weeks ago he started coming around again,being nice and coming to talk to me more. After reading your blog I was noticing the pattern. He was only coming around when he was in booty call/ ego stroke mode. This time I refused to give in and I blocked his number. He went away for a work trip and was trying to get me to come over so we could have sex before he left for his trip. Meanwhile we have barely spoke for the past 3 months. Once he arrived back at work from his trip he barely spoke to me because I wasn’t the “good little girl” who didn’t cause any waves. I don’t have to answer to your booty call texts, I am not your last resort and you can’t dip in and out of my life! I am done! Thank you Nat<3
Amen! That’s some very shitty behaviour on his part. Who the hell does he think he is, poncing about with his self-importance and expecting to sniff about and you come running?! Flush!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! Natalie thanks for all the support you provided this year.
My life has IMPROVED so much. Sweet. If I could at times just silence that inner critic. Smile.
MJ
Merry Christmas Mary Jane. You won’t be able to silence your inner critic forever but you will be able to quieten it and even harness it in certain situations. It’s not the boss of you and definitely doesn’t know everything. Tune in to your inner voice in 2016 xx
MJ,
I haven’t logged in for months. I’ve missed you and your support. Happy for you 🙂
Merry Christmas everyone! And thank you Nat for bringing even more wisdom to my life, though I’ve barely had time to come to the blog. But … I really hate this time of year! It’s all about coping and getting through it. It’s about managing the loneliness, which appears whether I’m with friends or alone, at home or somewhere beautiful, and I suspect I’ll still feel it if or when I’m back in a relationship. It’s a time of grief and sad memories. In some ways I hope it’s always like this, because otherwise it might mean I’m complacent.
I have a fulfilling daily life, then WHAM! I have to stop whatever I was doing and feel the emotional absence of my family and make pretences in all the small talk that appears so I don’t darken others’ excitement. I stop feeling like I belong. I can say many positive things – that I do end up spending valuable time with people I care about and have a well-needed rest and sometimes feel the spirit, and so on, but these are in spite of the fact that it’s by far the saddest, most upsetting time of year. I know many others feel the same and my heart breaks when I meet students preparing for the holiday and I know they don’t have a good home life. I just wanted to say it and send my good wishes and compassion to those who are also coping.
I like the discussion of show pony parenting. This seems to be a recurring theme in the lives of tragic rock stars. Of course they never own the deviant behaviour.
Hugs to you Happy B and merry Christmas. I go through similar feelings even with the girls and Em. We went away this year to give ourselves a drama-free Christmas. My mother still had a pop at me on Christmas Day but it was a blip that didn’t drag me down. That said, like you, there is always this moment where feelings pop up connected to the grief about my absent and dysfunctional parents. But it’s OK for us to feel this way. This time of year isn’t easy for a lot of people. Hugs to you and see you in 2016 xxx
Natalie, I’ve been listening to your podcast and reading your blog for some time now, and I just wanted to say how much I appreciate it and how much it has helped me. This particular podcast hit the nail on the head with respect to a couple of current issues in my life. I am in the midst of divorce after a 2 year separation, and I recently had the odd experience of having soon-to-be-ex email me accidentally with an email meant for his new girlfriend. It was like hearing the voice of the man I’d fallen in love with, and he sounded so emotionally sensitive, interested in her, attentive, suggesting activities that I’d wanted to do but he’d refused to do with me. It was a big emotional shock, actually, and plunged me into — well, not regret about what I did or didn’t do exactly, but a general regret and grief over what I thought the marriage would be, who I thought he was, etc. It was seeing the illusion I’d fallen in love with all over again. At any rate, your comments on regret, on accepting and moving forward are all so timely for me. And the “booty call” mentality part, also very timely. So, thank you so so much. You help me so much!