It’s time for another episode of Why Did We Break Up?.

If you’ve read or watched The Girl on the Train, the story of a broken woman who travels on the train each day looking out for this couple who she imagines have a perfect life and beautiful love, you will know that it teaches an indisputable truth: how things look to us isn’t necessarily how things are in someone’s relationship. Most of us can think of a couple who broke up where we or others said, “I can’t believe it! They seemed like the perfect couple!”. Brad Pitt, I’m looking at you!

We do not know what goes on behind closed doors.

Often how we choose to view someone’s else’s relationship (or one party in the relationship) reveals some of our desires for ourselves. We imagine that they have what we want. This is why when Lars, the man who Joanne viewed as Ideal Boyfriend TM material and who she imagined that it would be unlikely that he would become single, actually did become just that, she admitted her several-year crush. He said he wasn’t over his ex yet but when he did decide that he was and she made Yet Another Joke about the cute woman who was into him (yes, her), he asked her out on a date and then announced that she was no longer single. Early in the proceedings she disclosed her STD, he did his research and discussed it with their various mutual friends…, eventually deciding that he’d proceed because he was so sure they were going to work out. Two weeks later it was over with him citing her not liking comic books as one of his main reasons. Nine months on, she’s still hurting and is ready to hear the answer to the question, ‘Why did we break up?’.

Links

Some people just love trying to come up smelling of roses

Disclosing your past

A compassionate and inspiring take on living with an STD

Disclosing an std

How to tell someone you have a sexually transmitted infection

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