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Podcast Ep. 261: What Does Punching Below Our Weight in Dating & Relationships Mean?

by NATALIE | May 13, 2022 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

I receive a lot of messages from people wondering why they feel more confident dating and being in relationships with people who are ‘below’ or ‘beneath’ their level. In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I explain why...

Podcast Ep. 259: Let’s Talk About Overgiving and Overcompensating in Our Relationships

by NATALIE | Apr 29, 2022 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

Feel routinely underappreciated and taken advantage of despite how much you give and do? This week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast is for you. Overgiving is where you exploit yourself through the guise of giving to make yourself feel needed,...
Podcast Ep. 101: Help, Support, or Fuzzy Boundaries?

Podcast Ep. 101: Help, Support, or Fuzzy Boundaries?

by NATALIE | Aug 3, 2018 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I explore the difference between help and support (yes, there is one!). Why is this topic so important? Not knowing which is which or doing what might be good things for the wrong reasons, busts our boundaries...
‘I Can Change Him/Her’ syndrome: Don’t tie your worth to trying to control the uncontrollable

‘I Can Change Him/Her’ syndrome: Don’t tie your worth to trying to control the uncontrollable

by NATALIE | Oct 23, 2014 | Happiness & Self-Esteem

When people share their stories with me and a recurring theme emerges, I ask: If we look at this story a different way, why are you consistently attracted to and involved with partners who pretty much need to spontaneously combust into another person with a different...
Being the favourite child (or wanting to be) influences our disposition to be involved in an affair

Being the favourite child (or wanting to be) influences our disposition to be involved in an affair

by NATALIE | Jun 23, 2014 | Emotional Unavailability

I’ve been exploring recurring themes that exist between childhood experiences and feeling almost at home, not only in an unavailable relationship but particularly in an affair, and reading through the many stories I’ve been sent, the same dynamic kept...
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natlue

Until you know what you’re closed to, so what ...

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Until you know what you’re closed to, so what doesn’t work for you, what’s not in alignment with your values, boundaries, needs, desires and expectations, you can’t know and enjoy what you’re open to. You’re not a free-for-all. Express your boundaries by expressing more of who you really are. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore

natlue

Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is ...

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Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. And yet so many of us do this to ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lost, anxious, low and resentful. Making ourselves jump through hoops for other people’s shoulds takes a toll on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being as well as the health and of our intimate relationships. When we allow ourselves to create healthy boundaries, to be more honest versions of ourselves, we accept that disappointing others by not always being able to meet their shoulds is a natural and healthy part of life. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist

natlue

It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do...

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It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do and put it down to us not being good or worthy enough. The truth is, though, we only accept too little, put up with too much, expect too much of ourselves or others, or fear being our real selves, because of our emotional baggage. That’s the old stories, feelings and judgements we carry about our experiences, not the truth of who we are. So the next time you see yourself accepting crumbs and sub-par relationships and situations, remember that it’s about what you’ve been through, not an indictment of who you are as a person. #baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #emotionalbaggage

natlue

This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside...

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This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside the WH Smith at Victoria Station to go on our first date. Thanks to Southern Rail, Em was late. 😆 A few weeks earlier, we’d caught eyes at a board games night. I wondered who the cute guy in the Freddy Kreuger-style jumper was 🤣 in between playing a gangsta game of Monopoly. In typical fashion, I made a wisecrack right at the end of the night, which led to our mutual friend introducing us. On our way home, my friend got a text from him asking who her “cute friend” was and for my number. Within minutes of our first date, we were bantering, and sixteen years on, we’re still having the craic and making each other belly laugh. My biggest supporter, who hasn’t ever for a second questioned what I do, even when I told him on our second date that I “write a blog thing, but don’t go reading it behind my back!” (and he didn’t), he’s believed in me even when I’ve doubted myself and encouraged me to keep going. And he still remains my favourite person on the planet… even though we can’t agree on the thermostat 🤣🤣🤣 Cheers to us @emmonlemmy
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