1. He’s so tight he’d put a piece of coal in his arse and it would come out a diamond! Your date doesn’t need to be flash with the cash but if you spend the date counting pennies or being made to feel bad for having a nice meal on the menu, it’s a sign of Scrooge times to come.

2. Aggression towards waiting staff or sales people whilst you shop is just plain bad manners and an indicator of a potential inability to control their temper and have some manners.

3. Habitually being absent minded about calling you when they said they would. If they can’t make the effort now when they’re trying to woo you, when can they?

4. Rocking up to a date dirty, unkempt, and just looking like they rolled out of a cardboard box and made no effort is just bad show. Unless this is the look you’re aiming for, it shows an unwillingness to make an effort and at least try to impress you.

5. There is someone else in tow. They may not be physically there with you but they are certainly there in spirit because your date has a girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband. Other people’s property should be returned to the human ‘lost and found’…the kerb…

6. You are the only eye candy on the date. If they’re eyeing up everything that walks past, leave them to do their leering on their own time.

7. They ask not just for sex…but for anal sex on the first date…Nuff said…unless of course it’s your thang…

8. They keep going on and on about wanting to screw you but they seem to be struggling to actually get to know you as the person as they’re to busy trying to get in your pants.

9. They bring a parent with them.

10. They expect you to do all of the talking for both of you. If you wanted to go on a date with a puppet you’d have popped down to a toy shop.

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