When seeking partners with whom you can enjoy mutual love, care, trust and respect, what makes it so much easier, irrespective of anything else that attracts you, is that you prioritise ensuring that they have the four qualities of a loving partner (commitment to self, emotionally available, ownership and positive outlook) and that you are striving to embody these too. In essence, be what you seek.
When you show up to relationships from a place of looking to get or avoid something, you inadvertently wind up being inauthentic. You might look for people to give and conduct themselves in ways you’re not prepared to, or you might sell yourself short through the likes of people pleasing in the hope they’ll feel obliged to reward you with the person and relationship you want. Of course, this gets messy.
Approaching your relationships from a place of being more you leads to healthier, loving, mutual relationships. You keep it boundaried.
Sure, there are areas where you and a partner are both strong and individually strong. In other areas, you might be similarly or differently flawed. Still, if you prioritise embodying the four qualities, you can be an evolving loving partner and recognise one, too. You will sense and know when people cannot meet you where you’re at.
Remember, what you prioritise prevails, so no matter where you’re starting from in your journey, valuing these qualities will help you grow into them. Be what you seek.
For more on authentic, loving relationships, check out my book Love, Care, Trust and Respect.
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