If you’ve ever had a ‘relationship’ that can’t seem to end with a guy that keeps turning up like a bad penny, it’s because you’re in a ‘boomerang relationship‘. No matter how many times you get ‘chucked away’, you keep returning. Generally he’s the one to end it, although sometimes you do because you get sick and tired of the ambiguity, and then you try to get on with your own life. This is when he’ll play it one of two ways:
He’ll bring out the friend card and ‘keep in touch’ with you via phone, text, email etc, so that you never really get to wash him out of your hair, and his ego ensures that he is keeping one foot in your life and making his presence felt while he gets on with his own life. It means he also gets to keep tabs on whether you’re moving on. Of course, at the first sign of you moving on, he ups the contact or even turns up on your doorstep to rekindle things.
The other route is to ‘play dead’ for a while by having no contact with you. You go through the heartbreaking, emotionally wrenching process of trying to let go and at some point you reach a level of acceptance that it is over. Then out of the blue (they seem to have an in-built homing device that ensures that they choose you at just the right time), he makes contact with you, and suddenly you’re thinking ‘What if?’ and all of your progress goes out the window. The contact may continue and again, you may end up rekindling things.
Whatever it is that he chooses to do, you end up being suckered into being The Yo-Yo Girl, that woman that keeps returning to the scene of the crime and seems to have a trail of unfinished business in her life, or ‘boomerang relationships’. You’ll know you’re her if:
– Either of the scenarios above seem familiar.
– You claim you’ve ended it with various partners, but you have hook-ups and there have been several attempts at rekindling things, that clearly aren’t working out.
– There seems to be no end to your relationships – they end ambiguously and when he returns, while you may have high hopes, he continues to be ambiguous.
– You’ve often gone from being in a relationship with a guy, to being broken up, to being his booty call even if you rationalise it as something better.
– You claim to be over your ex’s but secretly hold out hope that at least one of them will come blazing back in on his white horse and declare his undying love and realise how wonderful you are. (cough, cough!)
– Despite finding yourself in these scenarios, you fear confronting him and asking for clarification and instead rely on your imagination.
There is rarely a good outcome to ‘boomerang relationships’ and at some point, you need to confront why you just can’t let go and stop flogging a dead horse. You are Relationshipville’s glutton for punishment. Being The Yo-Yo Girl means that you never move on and live in limbo and that’s not a very pleasant way for anyone to live. These guys that you keep yourself in limbo for shouldn’t have carte blanche to swan in and use you at the drop of a hat (or his or your pants) and you’re doing your self-esteem untold damage. And don’t think that it’s just him that’s avoiding commitment because you are too. Being The Yo-Yo Girl means that you never have to confront why your relationships aren’t working or your fears about being with someone who isn’t ambiguous and actually wants commitment.
Remember that the reason why he keeps popping back into your life is because just like he can’t commit to being with you, he also can’t commit to not being with you and likes to keep a foothold in your life. Pandering to his narcissistic ways by massaging his ego and his emotional unavailability, still doesn’t bring you any closer to him committing to you. He is a dog in a manger and the sooner you recognise this, the sooner you cut your yo-yo strings and break your boomerang, before he breaks you!