Values & Compatibility Archives

A ‘connection’ or having ‘so much in common’ isn’t the same as intimacy

by NATALIE | Jan 21, 2015 | Values & Compatibility

“We have an amazing connection”, insist so many people who are struggling to understand why they’re not experiencing deep, committed, loving, progressing, balanced, consistent relationships with the very people that they’re referring to....

There’s a difference between personality and character

by NATALIE | Dec 3, 2014 | Values & Compatibility

Earlier this year, I explained how ‘charming’ tends to be a precursor to code red problems. Mistaking charm for being indicative of other characteristics and values is an example of where we fall into the trap of mistaking personality for character, which is...

Despite ‘good points’, we deal with the consequences of people coming as full packages

by NATALIE | Oct 1, 2014 | Values & Compatibility

Any toxic relationship that I’ve been involved in, has always kept going due to me essentially cherry-picking what I wanted to remember about the person and the relationship whether romantic or otherwise. While I did spend most of my life feeling wounded by my...

Judging Isn’t The Same As Guessing: Why it’s time to stop giving you a hard time for being a bad guesser of character

by NATALIE | Jul 14, 2014 | Values & Compatibility

One of the issues that many people who have felt burned by a relationship experience, especially those where the other party unfolded into something dramatically different to what they’d envisaged or believed, is that sense that due to having misjudged this person,...

“Charming” tends to be a precursor to code red problems

by NATALIE | Mar 31, 2014 | Values & Compatibility

Each and every time someone shares a story with me where the object of their affections (and their pain) is described as “charming”, I already know the rest of the story without them having to utter another word. My spidey senses go “O-oh!” and...

Don’t be bewildered by why somebody doesn’t think and act as you do – you’re very different individual entities

by NATALIE | Nov 1, 2013 | Values & Compatibility

It can be difficult to fathom another person’s thinking and behaviour when it seems alien to the way that you think and act. You may feel that if you had certain conditions such as an environment where you had the security of the love and trust of another...