Definition: This is the particular moment when a certain chapter in your dating history is over. It’s the second that you no longer have feelings for your ex and you are ready to move on to ‘bigger and better’ men.

I feel that there are two types of closure. There is Fake Closure..and True Closure.

Fake closure occurs sometime in between the first month of your break-up. You have to psych yourself out of calling him, yearning for him and thinking about him so you fill your life up with everything and anything that you can. It’s purely a mental closure, you physically slamming the doors shut in your mind. However, in the middle of the night, as you lay in your bed, thoughts of him still creep in and you wonder what he’s doing and such.

Being a Baaaad Girl, you would never give in to the temptation of breaking down and calling just to hear the sound of his voice, right? Right. You would never stalk him, right? Right. You would never become a Bugaboo, right? Right. The fact that you still have any feelings towards him…anger, hatred, love, jealousy, revenge, passion…signifies that you are still in the fake closure mode.

True Closure cannot be forced. It takes time and with some relationships more than others. It’s not an actual act on your part but it does come. One day, you will pass a day without thinking about him, then several days in a row until he’s nothing but a foggy memory. The day you realize that you haven’t even thought about your ex in weeks…then you have achieved true closure.

Sometimes, we jump into new relationships while we are still in the fake closure mode. This is risky all round because it hurts the person that we are now with…they don’t have your full attention and adoration, and short-changes you out of a great new relationship. However, it has been done before with relative success, with the new relationship enabling you to get over him faster.

We have to be able to recognize when we are fully over Whatshisface and ready to move on.

Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide

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