big crack in a blue wall

It’s day 6 in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series. When you feel like you are about to take a big dose of Relationship Crack and immerse yourself in the latest dramatisation starring you, it is important to become aware of what the Drama Triggers are and handle your reaction to it.

If you don’t learn how to handle and reduce, or even eliminate your Drama Seeking behaviour, you are likely to be perceived as 1) needy, 2) clingy, 3) messed up, and 4) a drama queen.

Now…even if you are with a pretty understanding, decent, emotionally available guy, those four things make you a very unattractive prospect to the average guy and they will eventually be turned off by your behaviour.

We could argue the semantics of some guys automatically perceiving any behaviour that they don’t like as needy for instance, however, if you are a Drama Seeker, this is what your behaviour reflects. Don’t bother trying to rationalise it where you think you’re a quarter, half, three quarter drama queen! Drama is drama!

So, here are some suggestions for keeping out of the sh*t storm!

Lots of women find the gym or exercise pretty powerful at dragging the tension out of them and venting that energy. Me, even though I didn’t step in a gym for years, when I used to be on the verge of a pulling a Drama Queen session, I’d start doing sit-ups. Every sit up I’d be calling him names or if I’d managed to get to a better place, I’d say “I am better than this. I will rise above the drama. No man is worthy of this pain”.

I know they say that affirmations are good (and they are) but sometimes, it is what it is and you need to call the mofo every frickin’ name under the sun – but he doesn’t need to be there. I used to live in an apartment building so I was afraid that my annoying neighbours would hear me rabbling to myself, so I turned the music up and called him names like “Assclown, mutherf*cker, two faced, lying, cheating, self-involved, tossbag w*nker”. Initially you’re probably having a conversation where you imagine he’s there and you tell him EXACTLY what you think of him. Get medieval and vent your anger. By the time you’re done, you’ll be exhausted but probably laughing and the anger will be out. Get a trusted friend there and you’ll be rolling around laughing.

Build a support system. There must be one person you trust and if you don’t I’ll find you someone. When you feel the urge to call him every hour, turn up at his house, rip up all of his stuff, create a big argument, go into meltdown, pick up the phone and call the designated buddy (or buddies). This means that when you feel the urge, you can call them or go out so that your mind becomes focused on something else. It doesn’t matter if you talk about him a lot, the point is that you’re not at home or with him doing something crazy. Use the Baggage Reclaim forum, where a lot of women are supporting each other and venting.

Always remember that when you feel the urge to Drama Seek and get your Relationship Crack high, that the feeling of tension which results from the fear and the euphoria you would feel if you were to react to the tension, are short term. The low and the negativity will actually last longer so you need to start telling yourself that the only thing that’s going to last is the sh*t feeling.

Let’s say you are at level 4, you react and get your relationship crack and you get to level 8, when the high passes, you’ll be back at 3, 2, or even 1. You then have to work much harder to pull yourself back to 4, nevermind to anything higher!

There will be more tips throughout the series.

Your thoughts?

Do you have a post or tip to submit for the series? Get in touch!

Catch up on posts in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series.


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