Jaysus! It’s been a while! After a big ‘ole break, The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast is back!
Here’s what I cover:
How accepting do we need to be of our partners? I talk about finding that middle ground (acceptance) between expecting partners to be perfect and giving up who you are because you’re ‘accepting’ issues that are incompatible with the relationship you want or even with your own basic happiness.
My break. I share on what I learned from having 6 sessions of hypnotherapy and why establishing some new habits prompted me to step back.
‘Nice’ people who are critical and judgmental. It can really mess with you when your partner seems ‘technically’ nice because they do some nice things for you, have ‘rescued’ you, or are “such a good person” that they can show you how to be “better”, but actually, it really isn’t very nice at all.
This week’s listener question is, ‘How do I stop being piggy in the middle with my parents and my sister?’ (I know this situation well!) and I share what I learned this week (well more a habit that I’ve gotten into over the past couple of months that has helped me to reclaim my days and my energy).
You can listen to this podcast below. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe. If you’re new to podcasts, find out more about what they are and how to subscribe with this handy guide.
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Listener questions can be emailed to podcast AT baggagereclaim DOT com and if there’s a topic you’d love me to talk about, let me know!
Nat xxx
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When I first came to BR, it was so foreign to me. It was like learning a new language. Most of women’s dating materials are on how to bs and please men. Ugh. I treated this site like it was my new religion (and probably needed to).
The most I have gained from BR was to stop lying to myself. Since BR, I still make silly and sometimes awful dating choices, but you know, at least I’m not lying to myself anymore. And not lying to myself has made me what I am. I haven’t been so present here these days because I dug very deep and realized I don’t want romance all that much, marriage and children are not my cup of tea (nor probably ever will be). My art is my love, nature is my love, my rescue dog is my love. And I am my own lover. And I don’t feel the need to complete myself by seeking another soul anymore. I’m already whole.
BR was part of my coming to terms with reality and getting to know myself. It’s not a perfect scene, but, so what, who cares?, nothing is. And Thank God, because perfect can be so drab and limiting.
thanks for being an example. I feel more connected to myself just from hearing your story. Thanks!!!!
I was so good at accepting unacceptable things. There is a beauty in surrender and acceptance that gives you a nice thump in your chest and heady feeling, but a lot of us get it twisted. I remember the points in my unavailable relationships that I stopped resisting (aka stopped acknowledging the HUGE red flags that were making me nervous and antsy) and it felt good to stop fighting myself, even though myself was trying to save me! I really did accept my exes but it definitely came at the expense of accepting myself and my initial gut feeling that this was not what I really wanted and my needs were not being met. A lot of us confuse the moment we stop resisting common sense with falling in love when it’s anything but that.
Ceasing to resist true barriers to real vulnerability feels similar to ceasing to resist common sense in the beginning, any break from fighting yourself or others feels good. But in the long term the ceasing to resist true vunerability feels SO SO much better and is in a whole other stratosphere, which you will never know if you only limit yourself to unavailable partners who are NOT ceasing to resist either common sense or barriers to vulnerability but are merely continuing to be themselves. You’re falling, surrending and accepting into nothingness all on your own.
I can’t thank you enough! I’ve just been there .. dropping my gaurd allowing myself to become vulnerable and the other person says so much the right things but continues to act in a self centered way and doesn’t really give a monkey’s about me. My biggest mistake which I should have learnt from our last time was being too available. .I could kick myself doh! But ultimately who wants to have to think about tactics all the bloody time. That’s not a relationship. . It’s work! Other than this which is blatantly going nowhere, my life’s heading in a great direction.. will focus on that!
Hi Natalie,
It was great listening to your podcast this morning, and refreshing to hear you discuss continuing to work on yourself. Two things especially caught my attention- the thought/feeling of needing to always be the responsible one, and the concept that *NICE* isn’t always ‘nice’.
For so long, and I suppose even now, I’ve held the belief that ‘I can take it, no matter what’… Because:
I’m protecting my kids
Others have it worse
I have nothing to complain about
My needs are much smaller
Someone else is more important
And…
There is nobody here to help me if I were to ever fall apart. There is no safety net or backup plan. No buffer zone.
I have learned the hard way about *NICE* without ever knowing the truth. I am still learning.