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Sex with the ex is a topic that we could discuss for ages. We know that it’s destructive, and yet we imbibe in it anyway. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen and yet we can’t help ourselves. You feel that you are mature, and you can handle post relationship sex. You promise yourself that you won’t get all caught up and get your emotions entangled in it, even though you know that you will anyway.
For some, sex with the ex is mainly used to hold on to him in a vain attempt that he might come to his senses and decide to work on the relationship versus bailing out.
We do this to try and salvage the relationship, or what little is left of it. You have to keep in mind that using sex to control and have ties to him is kind of like a small bandaid over a huge gash. The bandaid won’t hold, and blood will pour out anyway. Conversely, the sex isn’t going to be enough to hold together a failing/failed relationship. It is human nature to want to hang on, and I don’t blame you, but you have to learn to let go. That is the only way you can ever move on.Perhaps you two have awesome chemistry, and he is the best lover you have ever had. That doesn’t mean however, that he is going to be the best lover you will EVER have. Stop limiting yourself. You just have to be willing, ready and able in your next relationship/fling to unleash your inner vixen. It’s all uphill from there! By staying with him, and having sex with him, you are actually limiting your horizons and your potential. It’s already been established that he is a loser…so why don’t you just try and move on to bigger and better things instead of hanging around the biggest loser?

You might have just fallen into becoming his booty call as a natural transition. You acknowledge that the relationship is dunzo, but there is no one else to have sex with, and you are petrified of a dry spell. He already knows your likes and dislikes and you don’t want to go through the trouble of re-training another dick guy. Get. Over. It. Life is not all about sex. A few weeks without getting any wouldn’t kill you. However, if you feel that it will, my suggestion is to head to your nearest XXX store and invest in the Rabbit and good batteries. Although not a permanent solution, it will help you over the hump, and keep you from falling into bed with him.

You might be from the school of thought that any contact with him is better than no contact at all. But the contact you are having with him could wind up hurting you a lot more than if you had just made a clean break. For starters, the sex isn’t the same, and he is still a free agent. Do you want him to get his way, have his cake and eat it too? If he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you, then he doesn’t deserve you…in any capacity. Not as a friend, and definitely not as a booty call. Capishe?

Stop being a pansy and make a clean break. Stop taking his calls, his text messages and his idiotic attempts to get back in your good graces. You are done, over, kaput ~ recognize it and move on. Although it’s hard, you have to associate him for the time being as your enemy, and cut him off completely. That way, you can move through the stages of loss and achieve closure.

Bad Girls don’t do Recycled Men. End of story.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide

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