I write a newsletter, ‘On Knowing Yourself’, and recently shared what I learned from having to end a relationship last year. No matter the type of relationship - romantic, friendship, familial - accepting that you’ve reached the end of the road and that you’ve given it your best can feel tough. You will grieve. But you will also be more than okay; you will be yourself and available for more loving relationships.

Read the full newsletter here: https://natalielue.substack.com/p/one-year-on-from-the-breakup

Attraction is necessary, as it distinguishes our romantic relationships from friendships. Combined with chemistry, attraction is the sum of how we connect and relate to each other.

If you treat and regard yourself with love, care, trust and respect, who you experience attraction and chemistry with is entirely different from someone who doesn’t consider themselves to be a worthwhile and valuable person.

More on the blog: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-self-esteem-influences-romantic-attraction-and-chemistry/

An impromptu ‘live’ after feeling the rage today 😆 Every day is ‘World Mental Health Day’. Today, as certain people see fit to try my boundaries out, I wanted to remind you that it’s more than okay to say no; it’s necessary. Flex up! Your body, including your mind, will let you know what does and doesn’t work for you. Take care of you! ...

If, when someone pisses you off or they don’t meet your expectations, you immediately remember all the things you’ve ‘done’ for them, you need to check yourself and *stop* people pleasing.

You’re doing what *might* be good things but for the wrong reasons, and that’s what makes it problematic. Those aren’t favours; they’re contracts. Be aware of your intentions and motivations, including what you hope to get back or what you’re trying to control or avoid. This way, you don’t have to feel resentful or worn out, and your relationships get to be loving and boundaried.

#boundaries #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #healthyrelationships #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasing #thejoyofsayingno

There isn’t a tipping point of people pleasing where you finally start reaping the rewards and you’re set free to be yourself. Now is the perfect time to be more you.

#peoplepleasernomore #codependentnomore #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #healthyboundaries

As a recovering people pleaser, I’m done with jumping through hoops trying to prove myself to unpleasable people. Done! Hard pass! Not doing it!

You don’t need to keep proving yourself or trying to earn their approval, and whoever you first learned to do this with taught you to believe you *had* to be a people pleaser. If you have a parent, friend, *someone* in your life that feels perpetually disappointed in you and maybe even feels entitled to make their feelings and issues your problem, it’s okay to say no to this malarkey.

Don’t forget that my book, The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Stop People Pleasing, Reclaim Boundaries, and Say Yes to the Life You Want is out now. Link in bio.

#recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #codependentnomore #healthyboundaries #narcissisticabuse

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