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Podcast Ep. 157: ‘Damaged Goods’ & Relationship Experience

by NATALIE | Oct 26, 2019 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

Some people think that they’re ‘damaged goods’ and limit their romantic prospects because they’ve had little or no experience, or because they’ve had a string of unsuccessful relationships or because of, for example, a difficult...
Advice Wednesday: Should I Worry About His Reluctance To Label Our Relationship?

Advice Wednesday: Should I Worry About His Reluctance To Label Our Relationship?

by NATALIE | Jul 27, 2016 | Healthier Relationships

Lauren asks: I have been seeing a guy for around 4/5 months and the other night he brought it up and we had “the talk” and he expressed how he doesn’t want to put a label on it out of fear it might change and if it happens it will happen naturally....
Carting excess baggage around puts the past on repeat. Offload, repack, reclaim.

Carting excess baggage around puts the past on repeat. Offload, repack, reclaim.

by NATALIE | Feb 7, 2014 | Patterns & Habits

Before I faced up to how I felt about my childhood, my relationships, and ultimately the way I truly felt about me as a result of these and any choices I was making in adulthood, I’d be asked about what I was looking for in a relationship and respond with...
Are you clutching your security blanket? Why it’s time to strip off the extra layers of anger and hurt you’re carrying

Are you clutching your security blanket? Why it’s time to strip off the extra layers of anger and hurt you’re carrying

by NATALIE | Oct 30, 2010 | Patterns & Habits

While listening to a reader reel off a list of hurts and incidents that had taken place over the years, I was reminded of an episode of the Salt N Pepa reality show, which I managed to catch one day when I should have been tidying and instead was regressing to being a...

Why we’re attracted to emotionally unavailable partners who are like our parents (part 5): Breaking the Cycle

by NATALIE | Jul 30, 2010 | Patterns & Habits

In parts one through four, I’ve explained how when we have unhealthy love habits, including being involved with unavailable people who offer the least likely prospect of a committed relationship and people who seek to take advantage and abuse our boundaries,...
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natlue

Until you know what you’re closed to, so what ...

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Until you know what you’re closed to, so what doesn’t work for you, what’s not in alignment with your values, boundaries, needs, desires and expectations, you can’t know and enjoy what you’re open to. You’re not a free-for-all. Express your boundaries by expressing more of who you really are. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore

natlue

Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is ...

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Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. And yet so many of us do this to ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lost, anxious, low and resentful. Making ourselves jump through hoops for other people’s shoulds takes a toll on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being as well as the health and of our intimate relationships. When we allow ourselves to create healthy boundaries, to be more honest versions of ourselves, we accept that disappointing others by not always being able to meet their shoulds is a natural and healthy part of life. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist

natlue

It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do...

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It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do and put it down to us not being good or worthy enough. The truth is, though, we only accept too little, put up with too much, expect too much of ourselves or others, or fear being our real selves, because of our emotional baggage. That’s the old stories, feelings and judgements we carry about our experiences, not the truth of who we are. So the next time you see yourself accepting crumbs and sub-par relationships and situations, remember that it’s about what you’ve been through, not an indictment of who you are as a person. #baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #emotionalbaggage

natlue

This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside...

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This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside the WH Smith at Victoria Station to go on our first date. Thanks to Southern Rail, Em was late. 😆 A few weeks earlier, we’d caught eyes at a board games night. I wondered who the cute guy in the Freddy Kreuger-style jumper was 🤣 in between playing a gangsta game of Monopoly. In typical fashion, I made a wisecrack right at the end of the night, which led to our mutual friend introducing us. On our way home, my friend got a text from him asking who her “cute friend” was and for my number. Within minutes of our first date, we were bantering, and sixteen years on, we’re still having the craic and making each other belly laugh. My biggest supporter, who hasn’t ever for a second questioned what I do, even when I told him on our second date that I “write a blog thing, but don’t go reading it behind my back!” (and he didn’t), he’s believed in me even when I’ve doubted myself and encouraged me to keep going. And he still remains my favourite person on the planet… even though we can’t agree on the thermostat 🤣🤣🤣 Cheers to us @emmonlemmy
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