Protecting a loved one from the wrong crowd

Protecting a loved one from the wrong crowd

While doing a big sort-through of Things I Always Intended To Publish, I found this note (and my response). It delves into what can often seem like the blurred lines between help and support. My son is in substance abuse recovery. He’s always picking the wrong...

Giving Up The Role of Being Over-Responsible

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been over-responsible. I’ve felt that I have to be strong and so avoid showing ‘weakness’ by asking for help, expressing needs or sharing my feelings. I’ve hung back and dimmed my light so that my...
Understanding Code Red and Amber behaviour in Relationships

Understanding Code Red and Amber behaviour in Relationships

Following my original post ‘knowing when to bail – red flags’, I realised I need to a deep dive into this subject. When it comes to responding to red flags, time and again, I see that, in these situations, we don’t know what to do and if or when to...
Florence Nightingale: Why needing to fix/heal/help in the name of love is unhealthy (P2)

Florence Nightingale: Why needing to fix/heal/help in the name of love is unhealthy (P2)

Over the last few posts, I’ve been talking about the tricky subject of being a Florence Nightingale who uses fixing/healing/helping as ‘loving’ because she needs to feel needed. A difficult subject, especially for those of you who don’t want to...
Florence Nightingale: Why needing to fix/heal/help in the name of love is unhealthy (P1)

Florence Nightingale: Why needing to fix/heal/help in the name of love is unhealthy (P1)

A couple of days ago I wrote about Florence Nightingale, the woman who chooses her relationships based on the opportunity to fix/heal/help. She needs to be needed and it gives her a sense of control, plus being with someone who in their eyes has issues or is...