Assert Yourself for You, Not for Approval or Control

Boundaries are not about gaining agreement and validation. Instead, they’re about showing up and being stakeholders in our lives. If you consider that we are each our boundaries and our boundaries are us, we can’t make our existence about trying to please and prove...

Letting Go of the Control Reins: The Path to True Emotional Autonomy

We humans love being in control. We fear uncertainty, not being liked, being unable to handle situations, and leaving our [uncomfortable] comfort zones. As a result, we develop habits aimed at influencing and controlling other people’s feelings and behaviour, and...

Podcast Ep. 277: Knowing When To Stop

In this week’s episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I share a big decision I’ve made about Baggage Reclaim and the podcast. You don’t have to hate something to stop. You can love something and also recognise that you need or want to do...

Wanting Romantic Relationship Status More Than Being a Loving Partner

In Bird by Bird, the bestselling writing guide by memoirist Anne Lamott, she breaks down an issue she repeatedly encounters with students in her writing groups. “The problem that comes up over and over again is that these people want to be published. They kind...

Do we really want closure, or are we trying to win at proving we’re a Good Person?

When we’re a people pleaser, perfectionist or overthinker who’s likely been prone to overgiving and over-responsibility, there can be a tendency to want to control endings, including how the other party perceives us. We go through a break-up or have a...