Is it too much to ask that people behave with a bit of common courtesy when it comes to ending a ending a relationship? There are two methods of communication for breaking up: speaking via telephone and face to face. Everything else, unless there are extenuating circumstances says 1) laziness, 2) coward, 3) bad dating karma. Whilst the words ‘cellphone’ /’mobile phone’ clearly have the word ‘phone’ in them, it doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to use them to text someone to tell them they’re dumped. As for email, what has it done for you lately other than make you lazy about communicating and providing an avenue for talking to strange people that you meet on online dating sites? And don’t even get me started on instant messaging!
Texts, emails and instant messaging are there for fun and convenience. They are informal, impersonal ways of communicating with people that actually make you lazy about actual communication. If you are in a bonafide relationship with someone, you’ve been dating for a while, you are actually a couple, even possibly live together and more – the very basic decent thing that you can do is have enough balls whether you actually have a pair of testicles or are a woman with proverbial ones, to finish it with them face to face or at least verbally over the phone. Are we too tight to spend the cost of a phonecall?
It is incredibly rude to break up with someone that you have considered yourself in a relationship with via these very impersonal mediums. I read the break up tales of several people and it is shocking how disposable we have come to regard people. I think the notion that there is a very large pool of dating supply to draw from is giving people the idea that they can dispense of relationships quickly and painlessly and move on to the next love interest. People want to avoid confrontation and they get to control the timing by effectively breaking up without the recipient being a part of it. It’s so passive aggressive that unless the recipient is very confrontational and forces the hand of the sender, it is likely that the they’ll be shocked into accepting it. Would you really want to have a break up discussion going back and forth over text, email or IM?
Oddly enough, despite many people communicating in this poor manner, I doubt that they would want to be on the receiving end of it, but I doubt they’re thinking about that when they press ‘send’ without another thought for the person.
If we keep on going like this, I think people will start breaking up by posting to their blog or sites like Myspace and Facebook. Video is quite popular on phones – will some people be braving the ‘face to face’ element and sending prerecorded messages or even breaking up via videocalling? Or why not just post it up on You Tube..I shudder at the thought!