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Over at Mercurynews.com, Mark de la Viña has come up with some termininology that describes the different types of dates that we go on in the crazy world of dating. I have selected a few of the funniest:

The Shame Date

Perhaps you’re nervous because it’s been a long time since you last went out, so you have a drink to take the edge off. And another. Unfortunately, you forgot to eat. You meet your date and the rest the night is a blur, aside from the hazy memory of riding a mechanical bull to a Kenny Chesney song. You wake up the next morning with a stranger in your bed, a hickey on your neck and an uprooted ficus tree in your hallway. What it means: After the hangover clears, you’d better start writing some letters of apology.

The Lit Date

One made at a bookstore reading. “I think these are the best dates in the world,” Shapiro says. “Most of them are free. They’re usually 40 minutes. They give you something smart to talk about. And if you don’t click with the person, you’ve at least heard an author read and learned something.” What it means: You’re among the few people who don’t religiously watch “American Idol.”

The Preemie Bomb “When can I see you again?” Lisa Tsai, 27, a social worker from San Jose, experienced this when an hour into a first date, her male companion asked if they were destined for a second. “It ruined the moment,” she says, “and killed the prospect of a second date. I thought that he was in a hurry to find somebody for a long-term relationship. Way too premature.”

What it means: Someone likens a date to a sales call and is intent on locking in the account before it’s too late.

The Job Interview Date

When someone is so goal-oriented about finding a partner that they grill you as if you were applying for a job. Not fun if you A) didn’t graduate from an Ivy League school B) do not earn in excess of $250,000 or C) have any family history of diabetes, heart disease or diverticulosis.

What it means: You left your romantic aspirations at the door.

Read it in full at MercuryNews.com

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