You’re on a date with a guy, or he’s chatting you up in a club/bar and you’re chatting away and then he says “So…why are you still single?” What kind of shit is that?
I can tell you all, that if women knew the answer to this question, most women, i.e. the ones that don’t want to be single, wouldn’t be. I’m single because I don’t have a boyfriend which is usually what is needed to change my relationship status. Why I don’t have a boyfriend at this particular time shouldn’t really matter because ultimately my single status means that the guy is in with a chance.
I know that it’s hard and that initial dates can have awkward, uncomfortable moments, but nothing puts my back up quicker as I feel like I’m expected to display a flaw to answer the question. Guys generally mean it in flattering way, but what about when you have friends, family, colleagues badgering you with similar questions or statements?
“I just can’t believe that you’re single. Love will happen for you one day.”
It’s bad enough when you have nosey people that know you asking, but when it’s the guy that’s chatting you up, it just makes you cringe. Single is not a bad word, but people have a terrible habit of making it sound as if it’s something that makes you something to worry about. What happens when people are asking you this question when you’ve been dating for 15, 20, 25 years?!
Shit happens, relationships break up and dating is really, really hard. It is not that easy to meet a guy to have a relationship with and past experiences can add to the awkwardness of finding somebody new. It’s a big, bad world out there where most people do get burnt in the name of love and when people ask silly questions like this, they have no idea what that person has gone through.
Of course it can be meant in a complimentary way, but it would be wise to choose your words carefully and tone makes a hell of a difference. If there is something else that you can say that sounds more positive, say it!