Every year, everyone gets hit by various illnesses such as flu, and earlier this year in the UK there was a mumps epidemic hitting the 16-24 age group. There is an ‘illness’ however, that is more prevalent all year around – Bastard Syndrome.
I don’t know if it’s a funny time of year or something, but right now I know an awful lot of women suffering from the syndrome.

Bastard Syndrome is when a woman persistently and willfully involves herself with a man who is not only completely self-centered but has little or no respect for her. The typical bastard is an inconsiderate mofo. He lives by the hard and fast rule of treat her mean and keep her keen and he’s not changing his ways anytime soon. He plays mind games to ensure that she ends up so f*cked up that she either stays with him because she’s become stupefied, or continues to seek out further bastards when the relationship is over because she no longer has self-worth and has become a bastard junkie.

I beg the women I know and the ones I don’t to get your Bastard Syndrome inoculation and immunise yourselves. For once I get to wrap myself in the glow of being single, safe in the knowledge that for now, I am safe. Fortunately I get to immunise myself on this site every day and would like to think I can spot an asshole from fifty paces, or at least have the good sense to run in the opposite direction if I get in a tangle.

I’m not into ‘bad boys’ myself. There’s no attraction for me in a man that wants to hump me and dump me, or spread himself thin over me and multiple women. I don’t need a man that looks in the mirror more than me, and I certainly don’t need a man that wants to go forth and multiply and turn me into another lady on his child payment list. The role of ‘babymama’ is unappealing and I have no aspiration to have strained conversations with women who he claims that he doesn’t know, but they say they’re his girlfriends. I don’t want to be way down in a list of a man’s priorities and I don’t want any man to think that he can get away with pulling any of his bastard stuff with me.

I guess this rules out a lot of guys but I feel confident in the fact that there must be men out there that aspire to be more than these ‘bad boys’. I may have to wait a while and my love life may not be that exciting (not because I’m not with a bad boy, but because I’m single woman stroking an imaginary cat – joke!), but somehow I think I’ll take my chances.

FavoriteLoadingAdd to favorites