Many people resist learning to take care of themselves due to finding it daunting. They’re afraid of the work required to move from where they are now to what they want. They fear it will be “too much” or take “too long”, leading to attempts at taking shortcuts or feeling hopeless.
You’re not letting go of stories, ideas, and beliefs that no longer serve you, or decluttering your emotional baggage, though, just to achieve a specific goal. Improving how you feel about and treat yourself allows you to live better and love more fully.
Finding love or landing a job is not The End. Life is on-the-job training.
You don’t need to be ‘fixed’; you need to be conscious, aware, and present to break and avoid past patterns. Just like exercising for the first time, you can’t expect to run a 5K or bench 200lbs after one gym visit. You must build up to it and maintain fitness levels. Of course, the same applies to self-esteem. Occasional nice thoughts or actions are good. Practising them over time, though, builds strengths and reserves, leading to the cumulative effect of enriching habits. You take small steps every day, learn from successes and failures, and gradually evolve.