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Sometimes you have to deal with the awkward situation of an ex who’s trying to be your friend. And I use the term ‘friend’ loosely because the awkwardness indicates that something is off. Whether the seeming friendship is subcode for keeping their foot in your life or trying to basically get all the fringe benefits of the relationship without actually having to do the work that comes along with that, it’s crucial to ensure that you don’t marginalise yourself. Don’t accept a demotion!

Many people I hear from used to be the girlfriend /boyfriend, and now they are the booty call. Why? Because they decided that they really, really wanted to keep this person in their life because, you know, they were ‘such good friends’. Apparently, they had ‘such a good relationship‘. And so by trying to keep somebody in their life who probably didn’t and doesn’t have enough love, care, trust, and respect for them, they’ve wound up in this pseudo-friendship. Now they’re breaking them off a piece of sex from time to time or stroking their ego and not in a relationship.

Holding tight to exes blocks you from moving forward.

In my video, I explain why somebody who is doesn’t make a great boyfriend or girlfriend is unlikely to make a great friend. There are exceptions to this, and that is where there probably was friendship in the first place. Or where you realised actually that you were better off as friends. But if you broke up because the person was an asshole, they’d be an asshole as a friend, too. Don’t go there.

Make sure you know the difference between friends and really not-such-a-great friend. Don’t allow yourself to be played down by anybody. Don’t allow people to take advantage and creep in and take from you what under ordinary circumstances you would only do if you were in a bonafide committed relationship.

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