Feel as if you’ve been in variations of the same relationships and situations? This sameness is a relationship pattern. Consciously or not, you’re in a cycle of gravitating to people that fit your beliefs. They speak to your habits and unresolved pain, fear, guilt, stories and judgement from the past—emotional baggage.
Patterns occur when you’re living unconsciously. On some level, you keep trying to right the wrongs of the past by repeating the same relationships and situations. An often unconscious desire to create a different outcome and alleviate the pain, fear and guilt you carry from earlier experiences drives you. These efforts block love because you’re rear-facing. You can’t be conscious, aware, and present.
Living in the past also happens when you stay in a relationship well past its sell-by date because you’re avoiding reality. Or when you refuse to allow your perspective on yourself to grow, judging yourself on who you were in the past and then writing yourself off. Letting go can seem scary, as there’s a security blanket and distraction in this habit.
It might seem as if you can’t move forward until you’ve fixed something in the past. The pain and additional fear and guilt, though, come from trying to undo or correct a past that’s already done. Plus, you are likely tasking yourself with responsibilities that weren’t and aren’t yours in the first place.
Sameness in your relationships (e.g. having a type, repeat situations and relationships) is a call to wake up from your pattern. You’re being invited to see what you couldn’t before so that you heal, grow, learn and love.
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