personal security Archives

We Must Stop Reinforcing Shame: It’s Okay for Us to Like and Love Ourselves

What’s so bad about saying that we like and love ourselves? Or, what’s so bad about saying that we would like to get to know ourselves and evolve our relationship to one that comes from a place of healthier self-esteem and personal security? Doesn’t...

Snooping Never Leads To Anything Good

by NATALIE | Boundaries

Longtime readers may recall that while pregnant with my first daughter, I got into the hidden camera show ‘Cheaters’. The premise is people who suspect their partners of cheating have them investigated and followed… and then confront them. I know, I know. But I was...

Don’t confuse what you want to avoid with being the same as what you desire or need

by NATALIE | The BS Diet

Awareness of how we truly want to feel and the path we want to walk is crucial for ensuring that we don’t be and do things that inadvertently take us away from those very things. Too often, we focus on what we want to avoid. The actions and thinking that go into...

Are negative associations undermining your post-breakup and No Contact efforts?

by NATALIE | Boundaried Breakups

Many people break up or even embark on No Contact with good intentions. On a number of levels and in many respects, they’re aware of some pretty compelling reasons for why they’re no longer together and sometimes, it’s even recognising their own...

Don’t try to get romantic partners to step in as parental replacements. It will only lead to pain.

by NATALIE | Boundaries

“Some relationships have to and should end. If you keep seeing your relationships not working out as abandonment, aside from each person having what is closer to a parental role in your life, you’re too busy trying to hold onto them at all costs and make them...