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Podcast Ep. 179: Better The Devil You Know?

by NATALIE | Apr 17, 2020 | Podcast: The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

When an ex who didn’t treat us with love, care, trust and respect starts saying ‘all the right things’, it’s all-too-easy to be nostalgic. Next thing, we’re plotting our fairy-tale ending and possibly sacking off new relationships,...
Advice: Why Did He Agree To Meet Me After 20 Years Just To Mess Me About?

Advice: Why Did He Agree To Meet Me After 20 Years Just To Mess Me About?

by NATALIE | Nov 30, 2016 | Letting Go

Alison asks: I recently visited a friend I hadn’t seen in twenty years. We had the briefest of hook-ups a long time ago that I vaguely remember as him not being able to ‘perform’, but it was still loving and caring. He’s smart, funny, insightful and back then gave me...

Sometimes Embarrassment / Shame Stops A Person From Making Attempts To Remedy A Situation Or Get In Touch

by NATALIE | Sep 5, 2012 | The BS Diet

Have you ever felt so embarrassed about something (or even ashamed) that you try to avoid any and everything to do with it? I remember walking by St Stephen’s Green in Dublin and seeing a guy who I had an ambiguous flirtation going on with. Strutting in my wedge...
Are You Too Eager For The Fairy Tale ‘Ending’? The Returning Childhood ‘Sweetheart’ Revisited

Are You Too Eager For The Fairy Tale ‘Ending’? The Returning Childhood ‘Sweetheart’ Revisited

by NATALIE | Jul 30, 2012 | Emotional Unavailability

; Back in 2009, following what at the time I considered to be an alarming number of emails and comments from readers who had been burned by an ex that had contacted them via their alumni site or Facebook, I wrote about the trap of the returning childhood...
When Your Ex Returns AGAIN, It’s An Opportunity To Do Right By You

When Your Ex Returns AGAIN, It’s An Opportunity To Do Right By You

by NATALIE | Apr 13, 2012 | Boundaried Breakups

Five years ago, a reader got in touch after her Returning Childhood ‘Sweetheart’ breezed back into her life after nearly 20 years, Future Faked and Fast Forwarded her off her feet, gradually started to blow lukewarm, then cold, and then unceremoniously...
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natlue

Until you know what you’re closed to, so what ...

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Until you know what you’re closed to, so what doesn’t work for you, what’s not in alignment with your values, boundaries, needs, desires and expectations, you can’t know and enjoy what you’re open to. You’re not a free-for-all. Express your boundaries by expressing more of who you really are. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #boundariesarebeautiful #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #selfcare #healthyrelationships #codependentnomore

natlue

Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is ...

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Trying to live up to everyone’s expectations is like trying to cup the ocean in your hands. And yet so many of us do this to ourselves and then wonder why we feel so lost, anxious, low and resentful. Making ourselves jump through hoops for other people’s shoulds takes a toll on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual well-being as well as the health and of our intimate relationships. When we allow ourselves to create healthy boundaries, to be more honest versions of ourselves, we accept that disappointing others by not always being able to meet their shoulds is a natural and healthy part of life. #baggagereclaim #healthyboundaries #selfcaretips #listentoyourself #recoveringpeoplepleaser #peoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist

natlue

It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do...

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It’s easy to look at certain things we be and do and put it down to us not being good or worthy enough. The truth is, though, we only accept too little, put up with too much, expect too much of ourselves or others, or fear being our real selves, because of our emotional baggage. That’s the old stories, feelings and judgements we carry about our experiences, not the truth of who we are. So the next time you see yourself accepting crumbs and sub-par relationships and situations, remember that it’s about what you’ve been through, not an indictment of who you are as a person. #baggagereclaim #peoplepleasing #recoveringpeoplepleaser #healthyboundaries #emotionalbaggage

natlue

This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside...

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This time sixteen years ago, I was waiting outside the WH Smith at Victoria Station to go on our first date. Thanks to Southern Rail, Em was late. 😆 A few weeks earlier, we’d caught eyes at a board games night. I wondered who the cute guy in the Freddy Kreuger-style jumper was 🤣 in between playing a gangsta game of Monopoly. In typical fashion, I made a wisecrack right at the end of the night, which led to our mutual friend introducing us. On our way home, my friend got a text from him asking who her “cute friend” was and for my number. Within minutes of our first date, we were bantering, and sixteen years on, we’re still having the craic and making each other belly laugh. My biggest supporter, who hasn’t ever for a second questioned what I do, even when I told him on our second date that I “write a blog thing, but don’t go reading it behind my back!” (and he didn’t), he’s believed in me even when I’ve doubted myself and encouraged me to keep going. And he still remains my favourite person on the planet… even though we can’t agree on the thermostat 🤣🤣🤣 Cheers to us @emmonlemmy
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