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In this episode of The Baggage Reclaim Sessions, I focus on the topic of interest and attention. Sparked by a friend not realising that she fancied the man she’s dating because she was looking out for signs of how she’s usually interested [with emotionally unavailable men], I wanted to explore why we get confused about whether we fancy someone.

I talk about:

  • The importance of remembering that healthy connections regulate you while unhealthy connections destabilise.
  • The impact of societal and personal conditioning on not just who we’re interested in but our actual perception of what interest constitutes
  • The major association that we have with interest and attraction that’s become the pothole that we keep walking into
  • Overcorrelating a small piece of information about a person and deducing that we know the whole person, including what cognitive bias means
  • Why we overthink our interest
  • The all-important clue that lets us know whether our interest and attraction to someone is coming from a genuine, healthy place
  • Why trying to convince ourselves into being interested in someone is doing us and them a disservice
  • Why we sometimes take it really badly when someone doesn’t reciprocate our interest and feelings
  • How differentiating between ego and inner voice can help us to chill out a bit more over the vulnerability of getting to know someone

Links mentioned in the episode (and some extras)

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Listener questions can be emailed to podcast AT baggagereclaim DOT com and if there’s a topic you’d love me to talk about, let me know!

Nat xxx

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